AMANDA COTA Tribute

I dont know Amanda. Upon seeing Amandas youtube video I chose to visit the website. Can you imagine those who bullied Amanda? Can you imagine how they feel? Guilt, sadness..... I know this because I was a bullier, one of many to a girl who also took her own life. It is a miserable existance, you know. Even when the parents forgive you, you dont forgive yourself. You go back and think of what you could have done. Why did I say that? You have that feeling almost immediately after you say it. You feel it. You almost want to take it back but you cant because you already said it, its already done, and all the attention is on you to act cool.

The horrible thing is, everyone bullied this girl because she had it good. We were jealous. She was beautiful. She had two older brothers who were there for everything, sports, plays, EVERYTHING. Her Dad, was the coach, her mom was a teacher. She had ALOT of "friends". She had a beautiful house. But she was hurting inside. We were so mean to her. Do you know what we use to say to her?? We use to call her tanorexic. Because one day she came to school and was red from her last tanning session. That stayed with her to the point where she decided not to do it anymore. She used to have beautfiul blonde hair. We were so envious of it. Someone ended up putting gum in it about 3 weeks before she killed herself, she had to cut it short, but it still looked good, and I think that upset the some girls even more.

Theres so much more... but the point of my entry is not to dwell on every negative thing that happened but to make it a point as one of the bullies, that the words are not worth taking a life. Take it from someone who knows first hand. You dont want to live across the road from the girl who took her life away because you helped push her down a spiraling hell of depression to the point where it is not worth living anymore.

3 days after Danika passed away, her mom and dad found out by autopsy that Danika was slowly killing herself from the inside. Her kidneys were failing, her body was on it's 7th day of starvation, and she was extremely dehydrated. The doctors say that she probably was unaware of her body shutting down. The stress of going to school every day and dealing with us was literally killing her from the inside out until psychologically, she couldnt handle it anymore.

Once agian, trust me, you dont want to be alive on the other end. It is not worth the satisfaction.

RIP Amanda <3