Amanda June Hoenstine Tribute

My daughter was not only a daughter but my best friend. She was a gift from God and words can't really describe what she means to me but I just want to tell you a little about her. She was born on Jan. 20, 1988 in Altoona on a cold day. From the first time I seen her I loved her and even though she isn't here she is with me because she is always going to be part of my life. From her first years growing up she was so smart. She always brought a smile to my face no matter what the mood I was in. As she grew into a beautiful young lady she touched many lives. I like to think of her as my hero because she showed me what it was like in the last months of her life to be happy. Her and I was a team and we had such a bond. Amanda went to Claysburg-Kimmel for 11yrs of her life and when I divorced and we moved she adjusted so well. She made so many friends and was so happy. She would of graduated from Central Cambria in 06' and to me she was in that auditorium when her classmates graduated and they gave her a standing ovation when they called her name. She was always smiling and making people laugh. She played a clarinet for 9yrs and she was really good. She was first chair and won high achievement award during her freshman year at claysburg. She was in the band at Central Cambria and a member of the student council. She was becoming such a beautiful young lady. I can remember when we first moved to Colver and her best friend Amy and her was painting her bedroom and I don't know what had more paint on it the walls or them but they was so happy doing it. Her bedroom is full of pictures of her classmates, friends, family and people she loved. It is full of pictures she drew and pictures people gave her, little quotes she printed off the computer and poems. She would sit in her room for hours and write poems and talk back and forth with Amy ... I sure miss those times I would say to her sweety would you get off in case someone is trying to call? I would do anything to have them back. I remember the times going down the road and her turning the music up and us bobbing heads and signing like we had no care in the world. Those are memories I will treasure forever. It's hard for people to understand what it is like to lose a child unless it happens to you. I can't put into words what it feels like other then a nightmare and you just want to wake up. A bad dream that you just wish was just that, a dream. I remember the night my daughter left here to run to Ebensburg and I said no at first then she gave me the face and I said yes and I wish I would of stuck with No. I blame myself for all this. I would give my life to bring her back and as hard as it may seem I still wait for that door to swing open and that beautiful face and blonde hair to say to me, "Hey momma I need chips and dip can we run to Ebensburg?" My daughter was someone that no one will ever replace and she was a gift that God gave me for a short time but I thank him for the time he gave her to me. I would like to say to my daughter who I know is reading this site and so happy that momma loves you and so does squeak and you wait for me babygirl cause when I get to Heaven I want to see that beautiful smile and I want to walk the streets of Gold with you and Jesus and Grammal and Grammy and not think of anything us being happy again. I miss you sweet baby girl and I love you more then anything in this world from now til the day I die and I come home to be with you. ♥Love always, Momma♥

I Lost My Child Today

I lost my child today
People came to weep and cry
As I just sat and stared, dry eyed
They struggled to find words to say
To try and make the pain go away
I walked the floor in disbelief
I lost my chid today

I lost my child last month
Most of the people went away
Some still call and some still stay
I wait to wake up from this dream
This can't be real, I want to scream
Yet everything is locked inside
God help me, I want to die
I lost my child last month

I lost my child last year
Now people who had came have gone
I sit and struggle all day long
To bear the pain so deep inside
And now my friends just question Why?
Why does this Mother not move on?
Just sits and sings the same old song
Good heavens it has been so long
I lost my child last year

Time has not moved on for me
The numbness it has disappeared
My eyes have now cried many tears
I see the look upon your face
"She must move on and leave this place"
Yet I am trapped right here in time
The songs the same, as is the rhyme
I lost my child...............Today 
Love you forever, Momma

  My Beautiful Baby Girl
The path we once walked side by side
Is now split in two.
And I am left with only memories of you.
One thing for sure as time goes on
the pain just goes more deep.
Your pretty smile your gentle ways
The love we had so sweet.
I lay in bed and think of you
and how we use to be.
Two hearts as one who just begun
a life so full and free.
God sure must of had a plan,
to take my baby girl.
Now i'm left with lots of doubt
but one thing is for sure.
I know you wait at Heavens gates
To walk our path once more. 

Love,
Momma