She Didn’t Forget to Say Goodbye

I could still hear us singing “Ten little monkeys jumping on the bed” as if it were only yesterday. When I close my eyes I can still see my sister and I jumping and singing in our matching night gowns and long blonde hair. And every night mom or dad would end up to yelling down the hall for us stop horsing around and get to sleep.\

Even though my sister was just three years younger she was always the little dare devil. She was never scared to climb the huge pine tree outside my bedroom window, and learned to ride a bike and swim long before I could. I can remember the first time we both got the chance to sit on a horse. You could’ve heard me crying “I wanted off” and begging the horse not to move. And of course my sister would be crying even louder because she never wanted to leave. It was from that moment on she had never loved anything else more then she loved horses. And I was happy and content with my roller skates and hula hoop.

While growing up my sister and I were always together from morning to night. Sometime it use to feel like we were tied together pretending to be Siamese twins. Mom made sure we never went any where with out the other, and everyday we end up arguing and fighting over who gets to go first or, who’s turn is it to sit in the front seat, or who get to change the radio station. We even end up fighting over where our dog would sleep. My sister would be pulling on her two back legs, and I would be pulling on her two in the front. I’m so surprised she wouldn’t end up biting both of us.

Just shortly after our dad unexpectedly passed away I got my first job, and my sister got her first horse. She would spend morning noon and night with that horse, while I would be counting the days until I would be moving out and headed up north to go to school.

For many years we both struggled with constant episodes of depression and constantly lived with the fear of being abandoned. We both could’ve made a big difference in each other lives, if we would’ve been honest with each other and shared are insecurities.

Although my sister always seemed to disagree on just about everything, it was hard to believe we were always there to help each other out especially with the babysitting. It wasn’t too long before Her husband and 3 kids came to live with me for a few months , and few years later my son and I went to stay with her for a few months.

Over the years we continue to disagree about a lot of things, and we always quickly got over it and forgot all about it Until 5 years ago we had a real big disagreement over a personal situation that we just never got over or could forget. I spent many Family holidays all by myself and missed out on several dozen camping trips either because I had to work or because my sister had planned on going. Our family respected our disagreement and did what they could to avoid us from running into each other especially during the holiday when we would end up visiting other relatives. My sister’s three kids and my only son are all about the same age and have remained very close to each other after all these years.

Remarkably I had not spoke to or even seen my sister in 5 years, and I was beginning to loose hope, that she would ever forgive me as I wanted to forgive her. Even though I knew it was in my best interest to avoid any contact with her because I feared she might still have hostility towards me.

It wasn’t just a few days ago that my husband came home from work and ended up falling asleep on the couch for a few hours, and when he woke up he decided he wanted to go to the casino. At first I wasn’t too interested because it was already pretty late but my husband did what he could to convince me to go as along as we weren’t gone too long.
When we arrived it wasn’t too busy for Saturday night because it was so late in the evening. It had been about a half hour or so since we had arrived when I thought I heard someone call my first name. I quickly just ignored it and just assumed it wasn’t for me. However I heard it again, so I stopped, and with out any hesitation and not having any ideal who it could be I turned around, and got the biggest surprise of my life.
I just couldn’t believe it. I was in complete shock.
It was my sister after all the years and there we were standing face to face. I was so surprised I almost didn’t recognize her at first. She ask how I had been doing, and I told that my husband and I were fine. She told me she hadn’t been working too much, but other then that she had been hanging in there. We exchanged small talk for just a few minutes and then she said she her and her girl friend were just head home because they had already been there for several hours.
However I was still so shock to see her after all these years, I really didn’t know what to say. So I quickly agreed and told her how great it was to see her. She said “she would get in touch with me soon just to see what’s new”. So as I began to step away, my sister gave me a big hug and said “goodbye” then she reach forward and whispered in my ear “I still love you sis”
As I stood there I fought back the tears as I watched her walk away. And just before she went out the door she turned around again with biggest smile I’ll never forget and waved goodbye.
I quickly went looking for my husband and told him what had just happened, and he said he had also seen her, but she had not seen him.

While driving home I could only talk about all the things we use to do when we were little, and I began to feel as if this big relief of stress had just been lifted off my shoulders. It was a wonderful feeling to believe we could all be a close family again
Later the next morning right be dawn (approx. 48 hours since I had last seen my sister) I heard the phone ringing and ringing, and ringing. I couldn’t believe who would be calling this early. So as I reached over I looked at the caller ID and it said “Mom’s house”. But when I picked up the phone and said “hello” and nobody was there, so I said “hello” at least three more times and still nobody said a word. I was just about to hang up, before I heard my mother very emotionally say my name and I replied “yeah“ and then she very slowly said ”its your sister she’s gone”
And I said “What? What are you talking about? That’s impossible I just saw her the other night” My mother then replied that one of the officer had just come by the house to tell her, that your sister had been in accident just a few miles out of town. I told her “there must be a mistake, give me a minute and I will call you right back” I then sat there in complete shock while still holding the phone and cried.
I couldn’t believe “She didn’t forget to say goodbye”
I am still over whelmed to think what the odds could have been after all these years to accidentally run into my sister in such a huge city the night before she died.
And to this day I have never been more grateful and love her more then she would ever want me too, because “She Didn’t Forget to Say Goodbye”