CARLTON FIGG Tribute

Dad's dream was to have all his family live together in one big house. He was never quite the practical sort! He wanted this great big house, so all his children and their families could live together and be close to him. He even dreamed up what it would look like - a big compound surrounded by units that would be occupied by our respective families. No kidding, he really thought that would happen some day if he persevered enough. That was how much family mattered to him. What he did not count on was life taking us all down different paths, to different parts of the world, miles and miles away from him and mum.
I remember the day I announced to him that I was leaving to come to the Middle East. I had a job offer in hand. I was going to be a journalist in the UAE. Although I expected no kudos from him, what he said made me quite mad and caused me to stomp out of the room. "You're committing professional suicide, you know that." I just stared at him, said not a word and walked out. I was an idiot. He did not deserve that. He was right. I knew that. But even while he hurt me, I was not quite sure I wanted to leave. I wanted him to reassure me that I was doing the right thing. But who was I kidding. Dad minced no words, said it like it was. He said exactly what I knew he would say, and that's why it hurt. But it pains me today to think of how I treated him. perhaps a civilised discussion would have helped. Not that I would have changed my mind, but at least I would not be regretting treating him like that today. Lesson learnt, but alas too late. Words once spoken, cannot be taken back. Actions cannot be undone.

That was 14 years ago. Of course that little spat was short-lived and we made up. Dad finally even agreed that perhaps my moving out might have been a good thing after all. The UAE is not a bad place to be, it's unlike any other place in the Gulf. I regret though that dad never visited Dubai. It would have changed his perception entirely. I made a couple of home videos which he watched with interest, but did not have the chance to do much more. Regrets overwhelm me. Death has cheated me of some very special times with my dad. And even more sadly, my children will never know their grandfather.