Celeste Marie Hall Tribute

GOOD MORNING SWEET ANGEL............

We are the ones God chose to take
We are the ones you could not wake
We are the buds you see on a tree
We are the ones whose spirit runs free.
We are the bulbs you may plant in the spring
We are the sound when you hear the birds sing
We are the ones that could not cry
We are the ones he chose to die.
Our tears are the tips of the morning dew
We are the ones that you never knew
We are the rain that’s left on the grass
the test for life we did not pass.
We are the bees you hear hum
W had no voice to call you
We are the forest that fragrance the wood
to be with you, if only we could.
We are the sun, the clouds, the moon
We are the blooms that went to soon
We are the stars that shine above
We are the ones you could not love.
Forget-me-nots that’s what we are
We grow in your garden not very far
W are the heart broken in two
We are the ones who belong to you.
We are the ones you could not share
We are the empty space you see there
so really you see us in every way

FORGET-ME-NOT FOR EVERY DAY.

I thought this was just a sweet poem and I had to put it up for everyone to see.  Lots of love to you my little angel

Celeste was born with a birth defect called Congential Diaphragmatic Hernia,  it is a horrible defect for such little babies and many are born with it world wide every year and many do not  make it.  CDH is where the diaphragm does not fully form and the organs from the stomach move up into the chest and crowd the lungs and heart causing them not to grow as well and at birth they need life support and many many other things.  Some of these babies die in the first hours of life some pass months after birth and after the surgery to fix the defect and others have not many problems.  On top of this defect comes many many other problems,  heart, lungs, feeding, blood pressure or for many pulmonary hypertension.  That is just to name a few of the more common problems.  Celeste at 3 weeks old had her first surgery and it was for 2 blood clots she had in her heart very scarey surgery for such a little baby she almost didn't make it,  her second surgery came just a month later and this was the big one it was the repair surgery  which she was a trooper and had no problems with it even did well after the surgery the doctors were suprised they were even able to come down on her oxygen and nitric oxide.  I finally got to hold her on Nov 28th almost 3 months after she was born,  it was the best day of my life I was so happy.

After all of that she had some ups and downs but on March 13th, 6months and 3 days after she was born we got to take her home.  Let me tell you after we got her home  it was a blur all the doctors visits and thearpy made those few months we had with her fly by.  Celeste went back in for yet another hernia repair and placement of a feeding tube on Oct 22 2008 the surgery was perfect and we thought everything was gonna be just fine after that but we were way wrong her pulmonary hypertension returned full force!!! and had been coming back for sometime and no one told us about it which made me very mad I mean angry!!!!! beyond reason!!   nothing they were giving her was working and she was on the max of everything!!  The only thing that would save her was a lung transplant but it was a matter of her making the trip to Philly by life flight which the docs told us she had a 3% chance of making it and if she did make it she would be put on a waiting list for lungs 40 kids a year at that hospital are put on lists for transplants and only 7 ever survive long enough to get the transplant,  so that left only 1 thing we had to decide to take her off life support it hit me like a ton of bricks trying to decide to keep her here or just let her go,  on our way home God told me to do it she was never gonna make it she was only ment to be here for just that little time to teach she was a teacher for these great doctors,  she tought them so much what one of these little CDH babies can really deal with.  The doctors told me when she came home that she was the hardest case they have ever had everyone of these babies either made it with no other problems and they didn't she pushed all boundries of this conditon and pushed the doctors brains making them think harder.  the pedartic doctors that had her this time around told us that they were suprised that she was even still alive,  they couldn't believe how much she could really deal with her mind was stronger then her body.

The day we decided to stop all treatment was the best day and worst day of our life everyone was there all her doctors and nurses from her NICU days came to hold her and her primary doc even came up to see and hold her the doc that did her surgery came in he is such a sweet man and was very attached to us and her he was in tears everyone was.  She was such a trooper we kicked everyone out to have this time as private as possible and I am not going to go into it any further but holding her and watching this take place was the worst thing we have ever gone through she was such a strong baby and I will always have that picture in my head of her fighting to breathe before she passed holding her in my arms she was always so very happy in mommys arms and I just wanted her to be as comfortable as possible.  She is better now she is with Jesus and we will be able to hold her again it's gonna be a long time but we will!!! No more pain no more surgery just happiness. 

I know alot of people will tell you that the pain and heartache will go away but when it is your child your baby that passes the pain will never go away cause you think what would they have become what would they look like today.  It is your child the parents are not suppose to out live their child.  No words can ever express what we are feeling and I will be the first to say I hated hearing I am sorry for your loss,  as bad as it is that is all alot of people can think of at a time like these and it is not their fault it is hard to come up with the words to express how they are feeling and it s the only thing that comes to mind.

These babies are all special in every way possible and the doctors and nurses and everyone that care for them are all special,  the ones that make it and the ones that don't are all special babies they all hold special places in all of our hearts.  Celeste made our life better she gave it meaning she gave us a better understanding of what God can do,  she probably would have never made as long as she did but he let her to deepen our faith to bring us back to the light we were lost till she came into our lives.  We will always love and miss her and no other will replace her our love will just grow,  we will always be the parents of 2 till we have another and we will be the parents of 3 she will just hold that special place in our hearts.  I recived a card after she passed and it was written beautifuly and when I find it it will post it.

We always said she was an angel when she was born she just has her wings now.  I remember the first time I looked in her eyes in the NICU and thinking to my self she has so much wisdom in those eyes it was like you were looking into Gods eyes it was almost like she has seen everything she knew everything.  She had a smile on her face everyday despite what was wrong but we all think she smiled for us cause she knew what was going to happen she had no reason not to smile she was going to a better place who would not smile about that.  Sorry this is  so long but she ment alot to everyone that knew her and I just keep thinking of things to say about my sweet baby.

Celeste Marie Hall came into this world with so many problems on 9/10/2007 and left us perfect inside and out to be an Angel on 11/24/2008 she was 14 months old,  her nicknames were Bright Eyes, peanut and CC.