Christina Haynes Tribute

when we used to not talk for a few days .....i remeber always woundering if u were mad at me, or what u were doing, where u were, who i could call to see if u (the wild child) were crashed at someones house that night. man did i always worry about u , you were like my family. and the days didnt seem right without you and your smiles and stories and jokes to tell to make the days less dull. now i sit here thinking that u never will call me its so depressing...its summer we always hung out everyday in the summer having fun just chillin, drinking a beer, walking, or having fires in martys back yard. lol! it seems like this is all still a dream and im lost in it. i wish i could call u up and just talk i miss that so much.i miss my best friend...im so lost without u . i thought as time passed it would be easier but its just more of this nightmare. its hard to be positive when ur life is falling apart and i iknow if u were here u would have some silly thing to say to make me feel better right now but ur not here and thats almost unbearable i dont understand y this all happpened and im so angry at the world those people....its like no one gives a shit u died the way u did so tragic, and those ppl feel no pain no regrets? its fucked! they are fucked. they took ur innocence away so they could be cowards and live their coward life. i hate the fact that to all who loved her and who christine loved back are left here with emptyness of not knowing what happened to her and they are guilt free!! but enough about them... i went to ur grave site a few times thought it would help but it doesnt i just miss u so bad! and my heart pains for this to be a dream. i wish we could go back to the days when i lived in stoney plain and we used to walk the dog down all the trails we would buy a 6 pack and just walk for a few hours, i remeber u scrached marty so hard he had nail marks all the way down his arms i think he still has a scar.lol poor bugger u were so mean to him lol but we all knew bu loved him deep down he was one of us. haha marty ur one of the girls. you just gave out the tough love is all but everyone who loved u knew ur gentle lovein side was the one that took over. you just had a rough exterior is all, and i loved that about u, u wanted to help everyone and be their friend but u also never put up with stupid ppls shit .lol i remeber ur laugh and ur sillyness ur need to get what u wanted and ur zest for life......always so full of hope. and all the love u tried to give out unconditionally. you only wanted to be loved back and i remeber u crying to me how sad and hurt u were at times about fights with girlfriends or family and i would try to tell u everything would be okay u never belived me but im glad u still choose to talk to me it was hard to try and figure out what u were thinking or how u were feelin u never were much of a talker about those things.wish we were closer in the end when u moved away wish i knew more about ur new life ur friends were u lived and stuff wish we would have been close so i could know how u felt when u moved like before when we hung out everyday. i wish i dint move to rainbow lake i know that hurt u and u missed me alot when i left for almost 2 years. i remeber how u hated rob cuz he moved me away and all u said about him was true...lol and how much fun we had when i got back to ed from grande prarie and when u me and marc went there to get the rest of my stuff and i was so happy to have ur support and how ur face gleemed that big smile cuz u knew he hated u and u didnt care it was like u were saying ha ha i get to take ur gf now and we get to party again and have fun like the old days...(what i would do to go back to those days) lol ! it was great all the good times we had and even the bad. u tried to forget and forgive for the things that ppl did to u and that amazed me. u amazed me as a person...someone so selfless, so happy and full of life! miss u tons and love u deerly