I still miss him.

As much today as the day I lost him.

They say time heals all wounds, but I’ll be honest I’m still waiting.

A simple song on the radio, or a passing car can instantly send me back to that day.

A day I replay in my head over and over.

I hear my door bell ring, see the sadness in their eyes, knowing they were about to tell me the worst news I’d ever heard, the world spinning around, my knees going weak, and it still makes my heart beat through my chest.

My tears don’t come as often but there are still times when I can’t help by cry.

He was the first person that I really loved, and the first person who loved me back. Losing that so abruptly is something that I don’t think even time can heal.

I love my life and I love my boyfriend, but there will always be a part of me that misses him. The part of me that sees him in my mind every time I hear the song “Tim McGraw” or see a gold Camry.

I will love you until the day I die. And I will meet you on the other side somewhere, I’m sure. For now, I’ll live and love knowing that you are my guardian angel and will sleep peacefully knowing that I was yours.

I can’t believe it’s been two years. You will always have a hold of my heart and I know that I’m a better person for knowing, loving, and losing you.

I love you Craig Duvelius, and I always will. Just like I promised you I would.

Some days it seems like yesterday,

Some days it seems like forever ago.

Today it's been a year since I lost Craig. Since we lost Craig.

There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about him. If only for a second, glancing at his picture in a frame as I walk by.

That boy could always make me smile. He was always up to something. Whether he was burning a chair in my front yard, or spraying liter fluid on an already lit fire. He never took himself too seriously. At least not when everyone else could see.

Losing him changed my life forever. Despite the pain and heartache that I felt, my life is better for knowing him and losing him. That may sound strange to some, but in all honesty I learned a lot about myself, my friends, loving, losing, and living since I lost him.

I still have questions about what happened and I still have trouble dealing with all of it. But I realize now, that maybe I'm not meant to know.

I always find myself trying to save people. I'm no savior. Nothing will stop me from trying.

There's so much I want to say but can't put in to words.

Simply put, I can't believe that it's been a year since he died. And not a day goes by that he doesn't cross my mind. Part of me will love him forever because he's part of the road that I'm on, that's lead me to where I am.