Denny Meegan
- Born Nov 19, 1954
- Randolph, Massachusetts, United States
About
The Day I Heard The Sad News
Our brother Rich (Dick) called me Thursday morning, July 2nd and told me Denny had a brain tumor. I was shocked, I had just seen him a couple weeks earlier at our sister Barbara's house. He looked fine, he was the Den I knew. Nothing at all jumped out at me to concern me something could be wrong.
Immediately I called him, scared and worried for him. He was so calm, reassuring me all would be okay.
Mike and I went to visit him at his house on July 4th. I had to see him, see for myself if he was okay. It was clearly visible to me that he had lost weight since seeing him 2 1/2 weeks prior.
The visit went well but when we got in the car I told my husband, "I'm worried for him, I have a bad feeling".
Our brother Michael, who is a nurse at the V.A in Boston had connections and was able to get Denny hooked up at Brigham and Women's Hospital with a neurosurgeon, Dr. Peter Black. One of the best, if not the best! So we were all hopeful because he was in good hands. He operated on Denny late afternoon on July 7th, removing the tumor.
My worry for him ceased somewhat as he pulled through that unbelievably well. I was planning to go visit him on the morning of the 9th at the hospital. I called his daughter April to ask about him and what room he was in but she told me I may want to wait because they were talking about sending him home on the 9th.
I said, WHAT! No way! But, sure enough he was home on the 9th, recovering so fast!
Relief set in for me. Surely he'll be okay since he was so strong to recover that fast. I called him that day and the next as I couldn't get to see him as my family had a camping trip planned and we were leaving early Sat. on the 11th.
Denny assured me he was okay and even said he was going to the cemetery that same day, a few hours after getting home from the hospital! Surely another good sign if he felt good enough to go out.
While camping I had told my husband again, I have a bad feeling that something is really wrong. I knew he had to go back to the Dr on the 21st. I was going to call him on Wed. the 22nd but before I did I got a call from my son Michael telling me there is bad news. Our brother Rob works with Michael and had just got back from seeing Denny.
Denny had called him asking for help to arrange business affairs. That's when Denny told Rob and now the saddest of all news was about to hit our family...Denny has terminal cancer.
I had to hear it from Denny. I called him, he didn't answer so I left a message that I'm thinking of him, not letting on I know anything. He called back, sounded again unbelievably calm...
he said he just left his work, that he had to tell them.. I said tell them what? He told me it's not good Cheryl, I lost it right then and there.
I couldn't believe it, not Denny..he was always pretty healthy, never took medicine for any ailments.
I was so upset and he's comforting me, that it's okay, everything will be fine, but how could it be?, how will it be?...
my eyes have cried an ocean of tears since that day.
I try hard not to cry to him cause he doesn't want pity or sorrow and has asked me and our other siblings not to cry in front of him.
I will never stop crying for you Den!!!
You are a tower of strength and courage. You continue, even now, to leave a mark and set a path for the rest of us to someday follow.
I'm so happy we had this journey Den. I wouldn't change a thing! How lucky am I to have had you in my life!
I'll meet you on the other side someday, my brother, my friend!
I will always love you and miss you...Cheryl
This Tribute is sponsored
in the name of Cheryl
expiration date: 2010-09-13
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Update Saturday Nov 21st
Cheryl 14 hours ago
He said he just got off the phone with April and she told him I picked up his grandson's this morning to come over for the day.
He called to tell me he was happy to hear they were here.
I told him they're having fun outside playing with my grandkids. Do you want me to get them so you can say hi?...he said no, they're probably busy, don't bother them. I said it's not a bother, but he insisted not to get them.
I told him I let them play games on my computer this morning and that they enjoyed that.
That they talked all about seeing Papa on the way back to my house and that they are going to see him again on Wednesday. That they sounded really happy to see him!
Also, that I got some pictures. That I had to sneak a couple and I wonder where they get that from. He laughed..lol
Now the bad part...Den's not feeling well at all today.
He said he just got up around 12:30.
I asked him how did you sleep..."not good"
Have you had anything to eat..."no"
How about yesterday..."no, I'm not hungry" ..so that means he has had nothing since Thurs night when the boys were there (a sub)
I asked How's the pain today..."not good, I'm going to take some morphine now"
He said "I'm going to go now Cheryl" (we talked for about 7 minutes)
I asked if I can come over to be with him...he said no.
I asked can we can come tomorrow, he said after 12:30
I just wanted to let you all know. I got to say I am very worried about him. He didn't sound good.
I'll add to this if need be, otherwise tomorrow.
PLEASE say a prayer for Den!
Dee minicucci (10 hours ago)
Update Friday Nov 20th
Cheryl 1 day ago
He was sitting in his usual spot on the couch with his legs up on the chair, blanket over him and one propped behind his head.
I got to say he looked much better than I was expecting cause he had a busy day yesterday..
April, Barbara and his grandsons were over during the day and 4 of our brothers as well as his good friend Mark were there last night. 2 other family members arrived later to leave something in his mailbox. He said he didn't expect them but didn't want to turn them away.
He said he was happy to see everyone and commented that he was really glad to be able to see you Mark. I was happy to hear that you 2 got to spend some time together as well.
His grandsons were thrilled with seeing their Papa and getting their usual Papa surprises from him. Kevin hasn't seen him in a couple weeks. April said she prepared them on the way to Den's that Papa isn't well and that he's skinny. She said Kevin did ask..how skinny? But she said when they were there it was like nothing was even wrong.
Den said he told them to climb up on the bed with him which surprised me cause there's times it hurts him just to hug him or touch him.
He smiled a lot this morning as he talked about them.
Barb said he was putting together toys for them and even dropped something and got off the bed with a flashlight to look for it.
He just continues to amaze us!
She also said Den told her yesterday, that he's worried for the boys. She assured him that they will be watched over as well as April. She said it was heartbreaking to watch the 3 of them together.
I can't imagine being in Den's shoes and what must be going through his head!
The nurse visit went extremely well! No increase in any meds! His blood pressure was up...110/68. She said his pulse and oxygen levels were good as well. Diane changed his Fentanyl patch and said to make sure to call this weekend if there are any problems at all. She is the on call nurse for the weekend.
It was also discussed about the arrangements that are needed to help get our brother Pat home for a leave from the Army. April took care of that before she left.
Den hadn't had anything to eat before we left at 12:30 and said he'd make some soup later on.
(he said he had an italian sub last night and it was goood!)
He was very tired and just wanted to go to bed.
April had changed his bed sheets cause Den said he was really sweating last night for some reason. He thinks it's the morphine.
He also took morphine while we were there about 11am and let his cat Charlie sit on his lap (which I haven't seen happen in some time)
He mentioned he'd like to have the day to himself tomorrow. April said she'd call him later in case he needed anything.
Otherwise we will see him on Sunday.
Overall, there are several positives with today's visit.
I'm not sure if this should concern us where almost all of the time that is not the case.
But I do know it made me feel really good to not see the pained face he often wears.
Please continue to pray for Den!
My Inspiration
Riah 1 day ago
him I wouldn't have stayed in school.
He has taught me so many things and I can't thank him enough for that. He has inpired me to got through with school and and get my diploma. So if that's what he wants that's what I'm going to do. <3
Update Wednesday Nov 18th
Cheryl 3 days ago
He wasn't able to go to K-mart or anywhere... except up to his bed :(
I got there at 9:35, April right behind me, Diane was inside already.
Den was on the couch with a tee-shirt on, jeans and his sneakers on.
(I think maybe he was hoping to go out)
He had his left leg up on the chair, a blanket over him and his head leaning back propped up on a folded blanket.
He didn't look good at all today. April said worse than yesterday.
He told Diane that he felt very dizzy this morning and still does, even while sitting down. That it was bad while trying to shower.
He held the palms of his hands near the side of his head around his eyes...moved his hands in a circular motion and said "something isn't right, the left side is worse, like something is off.. then he said what's that called, um um ... vertigo"
Diane said when he's laying down to try and sit up slowly, then slowly stand up. When he showers don't take really hot showers (which he said he did). When doing that, it can lower the blood pressure and cause dizziness.
Den said "No, I don't think it's that"
He asked Diane to order him a shower chair and it did come before April and I left today.
For him to do that, there's no doubt he's admitting he's much weaker.
What pains him most is his left leg, you can see the pain in his face as he talks about it. He says "the hip, the knee and the side of his shin is really bad". That when laying down and if his 2 knees touch it's very painful.
He also says the lump on the inside of his groin hurts a lot as well.
She said because of the dizziness she's not raising the dosage on the Fentanyl patch but did on the morphine and ativan.
He said he's been very tense - she said the ativan will help ease that, will help put his mind at ease to help him relax.
As she's changing the Fentanyl patch to his right arm (she alternates arms)she's says he will probably just want to sleep later on.
She also comments on a cancer spot on the upper arm.. is that a new one?
He said no, I noticed it a few days ago.
He has many that are noticeable. (I wonder how many aren't, yet I really don't want to know.)
There is one on the left side of his temple that is growing rapidly.
I'm guessing about 3-4 weeks ago I 1st noticed it, it is now dime size.
His blood pressure was a little lower 102/58...oxygen 98%
She recommends drinking the Ensures cause he needs the nutrients.
I ask Den in front of Diane..."Den, would you like someone to stay with you now"
As he's shaking his head no, Diane speaks up and says she had the opportunity to witness Den go up and down his basement stairs a few minutes earlier as he went to do laundry (can you believe it!!)
She said he seemed steady and took his time, that she thinks he'll be fine til Friday and she will assess that issue then.
She now will come Mon-Wed-Fri
I very much want it to be as Den wants but I don't mind saying I am very nervous with him being alone as each day passes. If you could see him... he's so frail !! :((
He also said Charlie (his cat) was on the stair last night and he stepped on him. That doesn't make me feel good to hear that either.
Den did say that the neighbor keeps their outside light on all night and it lights up the downstairs enough for him to see, that he'll be okay.
He mentioned to Diane that he was waiting for a book to come in the mail and was hoping it was today. She asked what the name was, he said Red Mafia. She said oh, I think I saw that before. He said probably not, it's rare, hard to find. She says again.. no, I think I saw it in someone's house before, is it about Russians...Den perked up like he couldn't believe his ears..she knew a little about it. He was impressed. They talked a little about it between them.
He said he got it from a private dealer off of Amazon and he wants to read it (I was surprised to hear that, yet happy...I didn't think he could focus on reading any more)
We also talked some about the quarries and the fun the boys have had over the years up there. Diane says her boys do target shooting...so that conversation goes on for a few minutes.
Diane is a very nice caring person. She's a perfect nurse for Den.
Right after Diane leaves, Den says to April and I...I need you 2 to run some errands for me. We were gone a couple hours and it was very nice to have some time to talk to April. I really worry about her but she knows we're all here for her and her family, always.
Before leaving Den, she is upstairs alone with him, getting him all set for us to leave him for errands.
He also wants a pizza from papa gino's. He ate 2 pieces when we got back but upstairs. I was concerned about the cheese bothering him cause the lasagna bothered him the other day.
He did tell Diane he only eats once a day now, that he really has no appetite.
April and the boys are going to visit tomorrow. He's looking forward to seeing them. I hope he's able to follow through with that.
It is his birthday, but Den has never really been big on that so we all are going to do as we always have, nothing, just another day (but will get him scratch tickets)
He said Dick is coming later in the day. I asked if all the boys were and he said he didn't remember what Dick said.
It was also said when the time comes. he not only does not want music played for him, he wants NO pictures at all.
And we will respect that.
I had asked April the other day if she has told her Dad that it's okay, that he can go and not to worry. She did that today privately.
Before I left at 3:15, I was upstairs alone with him and I as well told him that it's okay as well. I told him we will all watch out for April and the boys. I looked him right in the eye, he turned his head and said, I know she'll be okay.
It's so heartbreaking, so unfair!
He did receive the flowers and card yesterday. Thank you 2 for that! He was also happy to hear that everyone has him in their thoughts and prayers.
On behalf of our family....we all very much appreciate all of you!