Denny Meegan
- Male
- Born Nov 19, 1954
- Randolph, Massachusetts, United States
About
The day I heard the sad news
Our brother Rich called me Thursday morning, July 2nd and told me Denny had a brain tumor. I was shocked, I had just seen him a couple weeks earlier at our sister Barbara's house. He looked fine, he was the Den I knew. Nothing at all jumped out at me to concern me something could be wrong.
Immediately I called him, scared and worried for him. He was so calm, reassuring me all would be okay.
Mike and I went to visit him at his house on July 4th. I had to see him, see for myself if he was okay. It was clearly visible to me that he had lost weight since seeing him 2 1/2 weeks prior.
The visit went well but when we got in the car I told my husband, "I'm worried for him, I have a bad feeling".
Our brother Michael, who is a nurse at the V.A in Boston had connections and was able to get Denny hooked up at Brigham and Women's Hospital with a neurosurgeon, Dr. Peter Black. One of the best, if not the best! So we were all hopeful because he was in good hands. He operated on Denny late afternoon on July 7th, removing the tumor.
My worry for him ceased somewhat as he pulled through that unbelievably well. I was planning to go visit him on the morning of the 9th at the hospital. I called his daughter April to ask about him and what room he was in but she told me I may want to wait because they were talking about sending him home on the 9th.
I said, WHAT, No way! But, sure enough he was home on the 9th, recovering so fast!
Relief set in for me. Surely he'll be okay since he was so strong to recover that fast. I called him that day and the next as I couldn't get to see him as my immediate family had a camping trip planned for months and we were leaving early Sat. on the 11th.
Denny assured me he was okay and even said he was going to the cemetery that same day, a few hours after getting home from the hospital! Surely another good sign if he felt good enough to go out.
While camping I had told my husband again, I have a bad feeling that something is really wrong. We got home on the 18th, I knew he had to go back to the Dr on the 21st. I was going to call him on Wed. the 22nd but before I did I got a call from my son Michael telling me there is bad news. Our brother Rob works with Michael and had just got back from seeing Denny.
Denny had called him asking for help to arrange business affairs. That's when Denny told Rob and now the saddest of all news was about to hit our family...Denny has terminal cancer.
I had to hear it from Denny. I called him, he didn't answer so I left a message that I'm thinking of him, not letting on I know anything. He called back, sounded again unbelievably calm...
he said he just left his work, that he had to tell them.. I said tell them what? He told me it's not good Cheryl, I lost it.
I couldn't believe it, not Denny..he was always pretty healthy, never took medicine for any ailments.
I was so upset and he's comforting me, that it's okay, everything will be fine, but how could it be?, how will it be?...
my eyes have cried an ocean of tears since that day.
I try hard not to cry to him cause he doesn't want pity or sorrow and has asked me and our other siblings not to cry in front of him.
I will never stop crying for you Den!!!
You are a tower of strength and courage. You continue, even now, to leave a mark and set a path for the rest of us to someday follow.
I'm so happy we had this journey Den. I wouldn't change a thing! How lucky am I to have had you in my life!
I'll meet you on the other side someday, my brother, my friend!
I will always love you and miss you...Cheryl
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Update Aug 19th
Cheryl Aug 20, 2009
Wanted me to know the visiting nurse was coming in the morning. So I will be going there to meet and speak with her.
He said his cat was doing better...Thank god! He thinks the heat may have been getting to him but he is an older cat too.
He did go out with 8 of his work friends for dinner last night and said he had a good time.
update Aug 18th
Cheryl Aug 19, 2009
He is going out tonight for supper with a few of his work friends.
He seemed very sad cause he told me "I think Charlie is dying" (one of his cats)..
That he's been throwing up blood and is lethargic. That history is repeating itself all over again. Denny and Cindy's dog died shortly before Cindy which was very hard on them as well.
Unbelievable!! Like he needs this on top of all he has to deal with now!
Said he was going to Billerica for a cookout with work friends.
Asked him if he'd like something special to eat sometime this week that me, Barb or Nancy would make for him but he declined saying he doesn't know what he wants from one day to the next or even if he'd eat.
I was surprised to hear that cause it seemed his appetite has been pretty good.
I also asked him if he'd like to come down here on Sun for a roast beef dinner or Nancy's on Monday night cause Mariah wanted to make a birthday dinner for Nancy and again declined saying he "didn't want to make long term plans".
My heart is aching for him!
Hopefully tomorrow is a little better for him....Love ya Den! xoxo
Update Aug 15th
Cheryl Aug 16, 2009
(Den, Me, Mike, Nancy, Scott, Barb, Tom and their kids Shaughn, Mikayla and Kimberly)
Den's appetite is still really good! We were there for 4 hours or so. Was a wonderful evening!
We watched the family party that Nancy got on video on the T.V...
omg, was really funny at times! We all laughed!
Den commented that he sees why we are concerned...he said he didn't think he looked that bad
Today, the 15th~
Talked on the phone with Den for 4 hours. I so love talking to him. Talked about so many different topics.
I cried a couple times trying hard not to let him know, but I know he did.
I can't believe this is happening to him! That in a matter of days or couple weeks he will be gone!
Today, one of the things we talked about was dying~
That was difficult for both of us, more me it seemed.
I thought he might want to talk about it. So I asked him, "what do you believe will happen Den"
We had a nice talk and even giggled a little cause we both have different views. I will keep 99% of that between him and I.
But he did tell me "well Cheryl, someday we'll see if you're right, but your probably not"
I told him, well Den, someday I'm gonna tell you.. I told you so!..
We giggled ... (but it's really not funny one bit!)
My intentions were to try to comfort him but he said he's really okay with it, that he's not afraid of dying. So guess who comforted who?
We talked about hope,
he said "hope is just a word...that if there was hope, he would have hoped that he and Cindy could have grown old together.
I really can't do this tonight, my heart is broken...
Please don't be afraid to talk to him and ask what you need to or tell him what you feel, he and us is running out of time~
Just thinking...
April Aug 15, 2009
We try to go visit him every other day or so. Sometimes he wants to rest and we just go the next day. We talk on the phone a few times a day, usually. He calls me when he gets up in the morning just to let me know he's "okay." He's been taking Motrin for his pain, which I find amazing. His pain tolerance is high. He tries not to take the Percocet too often. Usually before bed.
I feel terrible that he has trouble concentrating on reading and guitar now. Those were his favorite things to pass the time. I miss listening to him play, he is so talented. He's still working on the same book for over a month... so not him. He generally reads a book a week or so. He'll read and re-read certain books he has. He comes across information that he didn't notice the first time, I guess. :)
Me, Mike and the boys are going over there tomorrow. It's the 8th anniversary of my mom's death. I'm going to cook something and just hang out for the day. He'll enjoy that. He loves to eat. :-)
I have told Kevin and Christopher what's going on... they are okay so far. They had a lot of questions that I tried to answer in a way that they would understand. Kevin has been getting up in the middle of the night since my dad's surgery (July 7th). He's worried about Papa. He said he feels a little better knowing what's going on because he knew it was "something bad."
I just can't believe we're going to lose him so young. I feel so robbed for my kids. My mom was 44 and my dad is going to be in his mid-early 50's. It sucks... to see a man that has always been so physically strong and fit to becoming frail and thin in a matter of weeks. I'm so afraid that the tumors in his brain are going to start changing his behavior and altering the person that he is. The kind, gentle, funny, brutally honest person that I love so much.