Ken Durian Tribute

How many people actually love you enough to choose a name for you, to call you something -- something more endearing -- something other than the name your mama gave you? Like commy... or pinko... or another name I love to this day...

"Rando!" He'd holler out across that beautiful grassy space in front of their trailer by the beach... bring his chair down to more level ground where we could sit and catch up -- celebrate our past, enjoy our present, put our own spin on the state of the future... politics, religion... everything people aren't supposed to bring up we'd bring up.

Back when I was 16 or so the time I invested chewing the fat with Ken was usually aimed at finding ways to wedge my way deeper into Kristy's world... he knew this of course and was, nevertheless, very gracious...

I remember how he used to jaw back and forth with Diane... one time he asked her "dear, do we plan to eat sometime today..." I don't remember what she said -- but she gave him the business... I used to love how they would just let it rip... it still helps me love my wife to this day... anyway, after Diane probably told him to get up off of his ass and cook something if he was hungry... I think he turned to me and said one of the funniest things I've ever heard... "Rando, I'm so hungry I could eat the butt out of the skunk..."

Lately, however, our talks were about remembering the good old days... I enjoyed listening to him marvel at how we had all actually grown up and were making lives for ourselves... sometimes his face would get flushed and his eyes would glisten... and I'd think to myself -- "this man really loves me -- and I love him, like a dad, an uncle, a friend..." He was proud of me... like a son.

This summer I plan to be there a lot... I plan to take time to talk to Ken in all of those precious, holy spaces out there by the lake... where we enjoyed each other and all the good things God gave us to share "at the campground." I'll have a Scotch, I'll think about how often he had an awareness of how good his life was -- he would talk about that all the time ... I'll think about how that still helps me to be thankful for my own life and all that I enjoy here and now.

Thanks for loving me Kenny boy -- I miss you man... I'll talk to you later...