Paul Edward Zuelke, M.D. Tribute

Thursday morning we had a family meeting to plan this ceremony, and map out our days ahead. At the end of that meeting something happened that was quintessentially Dad.

Mom got our attention and then Mom told us she was fulfilling a promise that Dad had asked of her soon after his heart attack in early April. Mom proceeded to hand each one of us an envelope. Each envelope contained a check…

Dad wanted to give each of us a patrimony, to give us each an inheritance, to pass something on to us. Even to the end Dad never really understood the blessings that he bestowed upon us.

What then is Dad’s true patrimony?
What is our inheritance?

Where does Paul’s deep integrity, the high value he places on being true to his commitments, come from if not from dad?

Where does Diane’s deep and abiding faith well up from if not from Dads own faith?

And where did Lynne learn she could trust a man to have her back, and so be free to always be thinking about family, family and family.

Or where did Rosi get this incredible commitment she has to kids and her incredible optimism about their potential?

Or how is it that Kathy become a Montana girl, so deeply grounded to the earth, so imbued with the simple, deeply true wisdom, that so characterized Dad?

Who else but Dad taught Janet that she could do anything with her life, and when she did magnificent things it was to be shared with others.

Don’t we see Dad when we see Jeanne bringing us together, always sensitive to the requirements of hospitality, so often filled with deep peace and and joy?

And is not Susie filled with Dad’s love of healing and tender compassion, and don’t we kid her because she carries Dad’s deep sensitivity.

And I think of Dad, and I thank Dad, when I lean forward to listen with all the love and care I can muster to the person sitting across from me.

Yes Dad has given us an inheritance, all of us have been blessed with these gifts from DAD.

But wait……when I read over this list………I think that we received all of these gifts from MOM. Or was it Dad? Or mom?

I think that the truth is... ALL we have been given, has come to us from both MOM and DAD.

You know…when you think of it…Even the checks in the envelopes were signed by mom...

You see we were all raised, us Zuelke kids, by MOM, she was always there, she spent the time in the trenches of parenting, making it happen every day, for all of us. She formed us. But never alone…never, ever, even when she was alone, she was never alone.

Mom, growing up we always knew that Dad was the ground upon which you stood, Dad was the man who always had your back. Your love for each other was the rock upon which our family thrived. In some mysterious way all of the incredible gifts you gave us, all of the incredible work you did to raise us was possible because you had DAD BESIDE YOU.

AND I want all of you here today to know that everything my DAD gave you, every blessing he brought forth in your life happened because he had MOM at his side.

Let me tell you one story……

When I first introduced my wife, Val to my Dad, he told me how hard it had been for him to understand me or relate to me when I was choosing a life without a women to love me by my side. He told me that all he was, everything he accomplished, all of the joy and meaning in his life flowed from the truth that every day he knew he was loved and cherished by Inarose. That she was the ground upon which he stood and that she had his back.

Our greatest Inheritance, the most lasting of all of our gifts, are not then the individual qualities dad blessed us with and which we each strive to live out each day, or the values we have made our own by his example, but rather our great inheritance, Dad’s lasting legacy to us, is our family.

Dad along with mom created a love that was truly an example of two becoming one. That one love, MOM and DAD’s love created us. Their Love was so true, so deep that not only has it created one flesh out of two it has created one flesh out of 11.

Our greatest inheritance is Our Family.

And as a family we have been taught how to love one another, we have been taught to rely on each other, we have come to know that our family is the ground upon which we stand. We know our family has our back. Being Family defines us. We are Zuelke’s.

Just as importantly we have learned how to forgive one another, be tolerant and respectful of each other. We have learned how to laugh with each other, and to cry, and now we are learning how to grieve with each other. We know how to give each other space, and we know when it is time to go find each other. We know how to be family first.

These gifts, these lessons are our inheritance, They are Dad’s final and lasting gift to us.

It was always Dad’s deepest wish that we would grow to be best friends and always choose to share our lives with each other.

Family is our inheritance, this then is Dad’s patrimony. More precious then gold, more durable then diamonds,

Many people look at Dad’s life work as the wonder and miracle of over 10,000 babies he delivered.

But I tell you; Mom, Paul, Diane, Lynne, Rosie, Kathy, Janet, Jeanne, and Susie, we are Zuelke’s, we are family.

We are Dad’s true life work. He could have left us nothing sweeter, or more precious.

Dad, Thanks for our inheritance, oh and by the way……..the check was a nice thought also.