Hideto Matsumoto Tribute

dear nii-sama,
im sorry if i had to call you nii-sama even if we're not related. well, i think it's obvious pertaining to the title i made.
ummm...im the only child of my parents,well,actually, the second child,because i have an elder brother and a younger brother..but they both died..
why im telling this boring and unconnected life of mine is because(oh my, here comes the teary eyes Q_Q),since then, since i was a child,..i really wanted an elder brother...
ill admit, im only 4 years old when you died, and i don't even know you as well...but the moment i saw you(that was only february 2011), i just got a different feeling, not leveled in dreaming to be your gf/wife...or any specia girl your dating...but to be your one stubborn,irritating,weird but loving younger sister.. :3..weird daydream right?
i even made my own name with this dream, its not feminine but im loving it :3 ..this name even brought me to a very cool coincidence...
why you? as my brother?..its just that all the personality of my dream brother is in you..
yup, i dreamt a brother who loves rock and unique styles of clothing...and then he will share that personality to me until we're both alike..:3
fulfilling this dream will be easy if your still alive :( just to call you nii-sama will make me happy for my entire life...
but now that your gone, calling you nii-sama infront of you tomb will also satisfy me a lot....though its painful on the other side...i know you can hear me and i know that you know what's on my mind nii-sama...
but this simple word will be a hardwhile before my tongue say it..because i know that don't deserve it...
if i will be given a chance to stand in front of your tomb...it will be sure that tears will ran down to my face before ill say the word.."nii-sama"...

sorry for this long ungrammatical message...its just that there is no enough thoughts/words to describe what i feel...all of it wants to burst out but i don't know how i will start...
anyway...THANKS...for letting me know who i really am..and THANKS..for letting me come up with my daydream character...this character changed me a lot...and all of this is because of you...
THANK YOU VERY MUCH NII-SAMA......