Peter Fleischmann
- 59 years old
- Born Mar 10, 1950
- Died Apr 07, 2009
- San Diego, California, United States
About
Cliff Notes about Peter's life...
Peter Jay Fleischmann passed away on April 7, 2009 surrounded by his immediate family and the love of an immense extended family. Peter died at Scripps Green Memorial Hospital of complications from end stage liver failure. He is survived by his beloved wife Joy Fleischmann, his cherished son Jerett, his Aunt Trudy Mannheimer in New Jersey and various family members on the East Coast.
Peter was born to Ernest and Erica Fleischmann on March 10, 1950 in New York City, New York where he grew up and attended elementary and high school. He went on to be educated in the school of hard knocks. He left New York City in his early twenties and struck out for California. He remained a resident of San Diego until his death.
Peter was employed by Joseph Webb Foods for over twenty years and was instrumental in developing and implementing company sales strategies. He taught seminars in account organization and retired due to health concerns in 2003. His role as provider for his family was always a top objective and he was the main caretaker for his father Ernie during a long protracted illness.
Peter was a proud member of Alcoholics Anonymous for twenty-four plus years and his involvement in this organization was the driving force in his life. He was a tirelessly active member and shared his experience, strength, and hope with people all over the world. He opened his home and his heart to an inestimable amount of people and truly put spiritual principles into action.
Besides the work Peter did in Alcoholics Anonymous he volunteered prodigious amounts of his time for the community at large. Inspired by his son’s passion for baseball he coached for San Carlos Little League and umpired for the All-Star Umpire Organization for over eight years and acted as the golf marshal at Mission Trails Golf Course on a volunteer basis for over four years. He was a big fan of the Padres and a season ticket holder for the San Diego Chargers for over thirty years.
Peter could be a grumpy curmudgeon upon occasion but there was no better person to have in your corner. When caught unawares playing with his dogs, Max and Cleo, one could catch a glimpse of a free and laughing spirit. His repertoire of funny faces as he shared his experiences were as much a part of him as breathing and the years would just melt away as one watched him teach.
There is an old saying that, ‘No one person can change the world…’ but Peter Jay Fleischmann sure put a hell of dent in the world’s fender.
Albert Einstein once remarked “Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile”
Peter Jay Fleischmann lived a very worthwhile life.
He will be missed. Peter was under the excellent care of the Scripps Green Organ Transplant Team.
In lieu of flowers, please make donations, in memory of Peter Fleischmann, to the American Liver Foundation as follows:
Donate online to “Team Joy Livers” at www.liverfoundation.org/walk
Or send check or money order to: ALF San Diego Chapter
2515 Camino Del Rio South, Suite 122
San Diego, CA 92108
Sponsorship
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My memory of Uncle Peter
Karl Helfner Oct 09, 2009
Peter was the one person in the family who taught me (in the little time I ever got to spend with him) to look past the surface of people and see what’s inside for good or bad, it was worth understanding people deeper then the Mask that everyone showed the rest of the world.
I guess growing up in our family it was a rare talent, and one I have held on to my whole life.
I will never forget the first time he took me to the ocean, or when he dragged me along while he was working., or when he and pop pop fought over who was a better tennis player year after year.
It was a bit of a shock today to hear that he had passed, but these things happen like it or not.
To call uncle peter a "grumpy curmudgeon" makes me laugh as that’s what pop pop was my whole life and it would seem the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree =) makes me laugh as I find myself acting the same way my dad acted before he died.
Oh how I will miss him, the last of the true Fleischmann men has passed, and only I am left to carry the DNA torch....... Maybe it’s because I am the only one left that looks like a Fleischmann?? Not sure if that’s a blessing or not, but for now I will just hope that it is. =)
My Memory
Diana Lewis Jun 23, 2009
Peter was like an older brother or cousin to me in that we didn't speak often: protective, thoughtful, opinionated about how I lived and who I lived with. Always a confidant and friend. Growing up around him has made me into a better person.
The weekend after his memorial, I had a dream that my time is coming. In the dream, 1 week. How do know- what to say and so “good bye” for everyone and everything is no longer. Your reality goes way beyond that. Sittng overwhelmed by the love of life and how precious it is and how much you have and how much you love. There are no tasks to complete to satify that. Sitting, trying to understand the procedure, a large Victorian room octagonal shapped. I am sitting, listening to the procedure of how it will work when I died. I am still on this side and have have no idea what to say to people, to my daughter how to say good buy. I was so upset, with a profound sense of mortality.
In the dream, I was so afraid and begin to talk to the women looking at me, who by the way, are mostly my single, sober moms acquaintances. People I know but don’t know-not the point of indentification I wanted.
I believe that was when I saw Peter Fleichman out of the corner of my eye! One alki-to another. To the left of me, between the picnic table and I , he looked like he did in his younger years 40-ish, healthier, happy. Before he spoke to me, he asked a blank spot on the picnic bench if it was okay to talk to me. I knew that since I could not see that person, I was not dead, but I could see Peter who was. Without hesitation, he answered my thoughts to explain that since he was New he could still be seen by people who were coming soon.? Have the gift/ability to see the time of in-between….i can't recall.
He showed me the bottle of wine on the table, ¼ full (I say that for all those sober-folk who are reading this- they would want to know)
He put a big red bow on my right side of my chest and told me I am a gift, I am the present. Sobriety is a gift, in the present. Even in heaven, such a good brother was he. for he knew that in-spite of my great successes, deep down, i still carried the residue of I never thought that I was worth anything to anyone. At that moment of his smile, I knew that I have the great purpose within, again. I believe that all my life I have strived for this.
And once again, Peter was showing me that I am Gods gift. I am the present, it is inside me, no relationship or things, will fufill that materially or otherwise.
Turning my life over this time was different, profoundly different. And after I that, my life has talked to the course of giving rather than ‘living”. In order to fulfill needs of living, one has to take something from somewhere to do that. How will it change now that I live in the course of giving? First of all, I know profoundly, that I have everything in myself to give, there is nothing or no one to take from, only to give too.
Peter for many years was committed to love and service.
The world seems to small now, thanks to Peter, any the others up there too, they are in our hearts, and actions; of the good thread in G_d's world.
My Memory
Mark Bellows May 08, 2009
Early on in our relationship, I didn't really like Peter. He scared me, actually. He told things as he saw them, a trait that bothered me at first but one that I came to admire and respect. I went to meetings in the La Jolla and Pacific Beach areas, and ran into Peter at a lot of meetings (Tuesday night beginnier's at the Shuffleboard club, Saturday morning men's, Saturday night speaker's). I also made it to Peter's homegroup, La Mesa Men's, a couple of times. Peter started or had a hand in starting the Saturday morning men's meeting in La Jolla (at Father Bill Wilson's church), and the Saturday night Speaker Meeting at All Hallows. I got to know Peter at those meetings specifically, and at Samson's deli after the speaker meeting. I learned so much from him in those early years of my sobriety, and for that I am so grateful.
In the fall of 1989, Peter, Barney and I were on the committee for the Southern California Convention, which was in San Diego that year. I specifically remember two things from one of our trips up to the committe meetings in LA (Mike Ross was the chairman that year). I rode with Peter and Barney and Carol, Barney's wife. After the meeting, Barney and I were talking and Peter came up to us and commented about a woman that was at the meeting. After he used a particular term about her, he immediately stopped speaking, looked at Barney, and then Peter said he needed to go make amends to the woman for what he had just said to us. Then he went over to her and made amends. That made a lasting impression on me (it was 20 years ago, and I still remember it), because here was this guy, very active in AA and getting to be pretty well known, and yet he still had to work the program. I was only in my second year of sobriety and naively thought that seniority and popularity mattered in AA. On the way home, I asked about making financial amends (I owed a relatively small sum of money but didn't want to inconvenience my present lifestyle by paying it back), and Peter shared about how he had spent his first two years with very little cash, since most of his money was going for amends. That also impressed me, since I had assumed that Peter was too selfish or arrogant to do something like that. Again, he demonstrated to me how to work the program.
It was either that Thanksgiving or the Thanksgiving of 1990 that Peter invited my wife and I over for dinner. When we got to his house, there were many people getting food ready, but Peter wasn't there. He wasn't yet home from feeeding the homeless, something he apparently did every Thanksgiving. Again, here's this guy being of service, even on a holiday.
I came into AA with many preconceived notions, none of which would have helped me to stay sober. By seeing Peter in action in AA, a lot of my faulty notions were removed, notions about people and service and what we have to do, no matter who we are.
After I moved up to Northern Cal, I didn't see or hear from Peter for a number of years. I did run into him a few years back, when he was up here to speak at our Spring Fling. I got to meet Joy, and I got to reconnect with Peter. It was then, after years of sobriety and after having gotten to know many people in sobriety, that I came to really admire and respect who Peter was and what he did in AA and in his life. I'm grateful that I got to visit with him a few more times before his passing. Last October, my wife and I were down in San Diego for a work deal, and Peter came downtown and met us for dinner. I had a particular situation going on with a sponsee, a situation with which I had no experience, and so I talked about it with Peter. He was willing to share his experience and some advice, and it helped me out. It's a great last memory I have of him, one I will cherish.
In 1990 and again in 1991, I went to a retreat with Peter and others in Fallbrook. I really liked the format and readings, and eventually in 2000 started a retreat up here that is modeled after that retreat. I spoke to Peter about it a few years ago, and he told me that he and Ron Wynn (Ron and Peter were great friends; Peter put together a roast for Ron's 5-year sobriety birthday; Ron died in the early 90's) had put together the readings (all from the Big Book) and the retreat format. We just had our 10th annual men's retreat a couple weekends ago, using that format and those readings, and so Peter lives on up here in Nothern California.
Peter also lives on in my heart and soul. Thank you Peter for staying sober and working the program. I love you my friend.
Michelle Carroll Stancil (May 31, 2009)
Peter saved my life with love.....
Jamie Forgey Apr 19, 2009
I was so angry, I yelled at him that God didn't love me and would not work in my life the way he did for you...........(meaning those in AA) That I had sought God and it didn't work.
I was so lost, so hopeless..................
Peter lovingly said, "That's how you feel now" He did not get angry or treat me like I was less than. He just let me keep coming back, he let me stew and be angry..........
Peter saved my life that night and many times after, he let me work through the steps in my own painful and arduous way.
He showed me by example. He didn't have a whole lot to say most of time, but when I veered off course or it was important he would make comments.
"Why don't you just go drink" and I got pissed and told him "You can't make me drink" "I want to be sober" and through all the many many surrenders, he would smile and sometimes give me a hug.
And for me that was more valuable than anything he could've said.
Peter saved my life that night, God brought me here and the steps gave me God.
I love you Peter and I will always treasure the years of "the garage".