Peter Fleischmann Tribute

I got sober in October of 1987, and met Peter shortly thereafter. My sponsor was Jim McN, and Jim and Peter were connected in a number of ways: they shared a sponsor, Barney Morris; they had been roommates; and Jim's stepfather, Paul S, introduced Peter to AA.

Early on in our relationship, I didn't really like Peter. He scared me, actually. He told things as he saw them, a trait that bothered me at first but one that I came to admire and respect. I went to meetings in the La Jolla and Pacific Beach areas, and ran into Peter at a lot of meetings (Tuesday night beginnier's at the Shuffleboard club, Saturday morning men's, Saturday night speaker's). I also made it to Peter's homegroup, La Mesa Men's, a couple of times. Peter started or had a hand in starting the Saturday morning men's meeting in La Jolla (at Father Bill Wilson's church), and the Saturday night Speaker Meeting at All Hallows. I got to know Peter at those meetings specifically, and at Samson's deli after the speaker meeting. I learned so much from him in those early years of my sobriety, and for that I am so grateful.

In the fall of 1989, Peter, Barney and I were on the committee for the Southern California Convention, which was in San Diego that year. I specifically remember two things from one of our trips up to the committe meetings in LA (Mike Ross was the chairman that year). I rode with Peter and Barney and Carol, Barney's wife. After the meeting, Barney and I were talking and Peter came up to us and commented about a woman that was at the meeting. After he used a particular term about her, he immediately stopped speaking, looked at Barney, and then Peter said he needed to go make amends to the woman for what he had just said to us. Then he went over to her and made amends. That made a lasting impression on me (it was 20 years ago, and I still remember it), because here was this guy, very active in AA and getting to be pretty well known, and yet he still had to work the program. I was only in my second year of sobriety and naively thought that seniority and popularity mattered in AA. On the way home, I asked about making financial amends (I owed a relatively small sum of money but didn't want to inconvenience my present lifestyle by paying it back), and Peter shared about how he had spent his first two years with very little cash, since most of his money was going for amends. That also impressed me, since I had assumed that Peter was too selfish or arrogant to do something like that. Again, he demonstrated to me how to work the program.

It was either that Thanksgiving or the Thanksgiving of 1990 that Peter invited my wife and I over for dinner. When we got to his house, there were many people getting food ready, but Peter wasn't there. He wasn't yet home from feeeding the homeless, something he apparently did every Thanksgiving. Again, here's this guy being of service, even on a holiday.

I came into AA with many preconceived notions, none of which would have helped me to stay sober. By seeing Peter in action in AA, a lot of my faulty notions were removed, notions about people and service and what we have to do, no matter who we are.

After I moved up to Northern Cal, I didn't see or hear from Peter for a number of years. I did run into him a few years back, when he was up here to speak at our Spring Fling. I got to meet Joy, and I got to reconnect with Peter. It was then, after years of sobriety and after having gotten to know many people in sobriety, that I came to really admire and respect who Peter was and what he did in AA and in his life. I'm grateful that I got to visit with him a few more times before his passing. Last October, my wife and I were down in San Diego for a work deal, and Peter came downtown and met us for dinner. I had a particular situation going on with a sponsee, a situation with which I had no experience, and so I talked about it with Peter. He was willing to share his experience and some advice, and it helped me out. It's a great last memory I have of him, one I will cherish.

In 1990 and again in 1991, I went to a retreat with Peter and others in Fallbrook. I really liked the format and readings, and eventually in 2000 started a retreat up here that is modeled after that retreat. I spoke to Peter about it a few years ago, and he told me that he and Ron Wynn (Ron and Peter were great friends; Peter put together a roast for Ron's 5-year sobriety birthday; Ron died in the early 90's) had put together the readings (all from the Big Book) and the retreat format. We just had our 10th annual men's retreat a couple weekends ago, using that format and those readings, and so Peter lives on up here in Nothern California.

Peter also lives on in my heart and soul. Thank you Peter for staying sober and working the program. I love you my friend.

Peter had a face. Well of course he had a face, we all have a face, but Peter's face was like a exclamation point turned to flesh. He had that whole one eyebrow thing down pat. And he would raise that bush of an eyebrow, slooowly, while his other eye would crinkle almost shut as he fixed you in his sights. He never had to say a word.
When well pleased with himself he always leaned back and raised his shoulders up around his earlobes and a closed mouth grin would eat its way across his face and even though he never said a word I swear I could hear, "Heh, Heh, Heh," floating on the air.
Peter was also known to frown upon occasion, (no really he did! ) but no mere moue of distaste for Peter. No Sir, His entire face, from his receding hairline to his sometime stubbly jaw joined in the party, and it was as if thick gooey brownie batter went sliding down the bowl. No doubt left in your mind that he was sore displeased.
He absolutely could not tell a story without adding his own personal EMOTICONS, and they were alternately funny, and geeky, and endearing. He blew an excellent raspberry and rolled his eyes as well as Groucho ever did.
His smile, which he passed out often and freely, was as wide and quick as his golf swing. And from what I hear he wasn't nearly as accurate with that golf swing as he was with that smile. For in Peter's smile was a wealth of Happy, Joyous, and Free, and any recipient couldn't help but grin stupidly back.
My memories of things Peter said are very loud in my head and my heart so I get to always have that part of him with me. But I shall miss that dear, dear face.