Peter Fleischmann Tribute

Wow, I was thinking about Peter a bit ago, and thought I would like to read his obit. so I googled and found this site. Very nice. Here are a couple of memories: (in 1994) Seeing Peter and Ron W. as ' cake ladies' for an entire year at Saturday night. "Each week you wondered, what on earth would they do next?" The meeting roared every week. Their example spoke so loud. Impeccably dressed, these two, once 'tough guys" , up there hamming it loving the life they had found. Giving people hope to ease up a bit.

Peter was like an older brother or cousin to me in that we didn't speak often: protective, thoughtful, opinionated about how I lived and who I lived with. Always a confidant and friend. Growing up around him has made me into a better person.

The weekend after his memorial, I had a dream that my time is coming. In the dream, 1 week. How do know- what to say and so “good bye” for everyone and everything is no longer. Your reality goes way beyond that. Sittng overwhelmed by the love of life and how precious it is and how much you have and how much you love. There are no tasks to complete to satify that. Sitting, trying to understand the procedure, a large Victorian room octagonal shapped. I am sitting, listening to the procedure of how it will work when I died. I am still on this side and have have no idea what to say to people, to my daughter how to say good buy. I was so upset, with a profound sense of mortality.

In the dream, I was so afraid and begin to talk to the women looking at me, who by the way, are mostly my single, sober moms acquaintances. People I know but don’t know-not the point of indentification I wanted.

I believe that was when I saw Peter Fleichman out of the corner of my eye! One alki-to another. To the left of me, between the picnic table and I , he looked like he did in his younger years 40-ish, healthier, happy. Before he spoke to me, he asked a blank spot on the picnic bench if it was okay to talk to me. I knew that since I could not see that person, I was not dead, but I could see Peter who was. Without hesitation, he answered my thoughts to explain that since he was New he could still be seen by people who were coming soon.? Have the gift/ability to see the time of in-between….i can't recall.

He showed me the bottle of wine on the table, ¼ full (I say that for all those sober-folk who are reading this- they would want to know)

He put a big red bow on my right side of my chest and told me I am a gift, I am the present. Sobriety is a gift, in the present. Even in heaven, such a good brother was he. for he knew that in-spite of my great successes, deep down, i still carried the residue of I never thought that I was worth anything to anyone. At that moment of his smile, I knew that I have the great purpose within, again. I believe that all my life I have strived for this.

And once again, Peter was showing me that I am Gods gift. I am the present, it is inside me, no relationship or things, will fufill that materially or otherwise.
Turning my life over this time was different, profoundly different. And after I that, my life has talked to the course of giving rather than ‘living”. In order to fulfill needs of living, one has to take something from somewhere to do that. How will it change now that I live in the course of giving? First of all, I know profoundly, that I have everything in myself to give, there is nothing or no one to take from, only to give too.
Peter for many years was committed to love and service.

The world seems to small now, thanks to Peter, any the others up there too, they are in our hearts, and actions; of the good thread in G_d's world.