Thelma Marcuson Tribute

Hello everyone and thank you all so very much for coming here today to join with us to celebrate, commemorate and to say goodbye to our dearest Thelma – mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, wife, aunt, sister and above all treasured friend to so many people, here and around the world. I also want to particularly thank, Johnny Yglesias, our master of ceremonies and Jeanette Cass, Thelma’s oldest friend living in England and the other family and friends who’ve agreed to say a few words here today.

Thelma, Thellie, Mom, - what a character, what a handful! – She who had to be obeyed – especially by her husband and children. Thelma was never wrong – obviously. She was always for me a really complex, obstinate, acerbic, argumentative, forceful, yet pretty open minded person. She was unconventionally, conventional. But above all, she was also warm, loving, generous, artistic and elegant. She had a rare ability to connect with people of all ages and interests and knew the true meaning of friendship, many of which have lasted for over 65 years.
She was a great hostess and cook and as we all know good food and lots of it was central to Thelma’s character. Bompas Road and Brookfield were ‘open-homes’ and the scenes of many wonderful gatherings over the years – at which standards were never knowingly lowered and over which she presided with a rigorous eye for fine detail. Our lives were all enormously enriched by the milieu that Thel and Neil created.

Regarding Thelma the potter, not a bad one too boot, it always amazed me that Thel could work out her complex clay & glaze recipes, when she seemingly had no head for figures, formulaes or anything technical. But like an alchemist she somehow conjured up great pots which were both fine and beautiful, as I’m sure you’d all agree. My only complaint is that she unfortunately passed on zero of her artistic talent to me.

As a child and teenager growing up at Bompas Road, my memories are mostly golden with Mom both loving, protective and formidable – (there simply was no messing with her) and boy could she be embarrassing with no holds barred. But around the age of sixteen, I discovered dagga and girls (I’m not sure in what order) and her rule over me loosened somewhat, no doubt helped by the earlier trails blazed by Alan & Tim, so to speak.

As an adult in London when mom and dad arrived in the late 80’s – our lives were enriched. She and dad were were fabulous grandparents to Emily and Martha, they were really so supportive and loving and interested in what we were all up to. I was pleased to have been able to share with her and finally show her my recently published, madcap book of jews about which she was so enthusiastic. She often made suggestions, phoning anytime day or night with her thoughts as to who should be included or not. I have to say I did not take all her suggestions on board.

She had a long rich and interesting life, (too long by her reckoning) and it was only really blighted with the tradgedy of our darling brother Tim’s untimely death at 29. She was protected and spoiled rotten by Neilie boy, and often after his death she wanted Alan and I to jump through the same hoops dad did for her. At times, speaking for myself, I fear I did not exactly always come up to scratch in this department, as it was sometimes extremely difficult to accept some of her more outrageous demands. Yet despite our differences, I feel we loved and trusted each other very much.

The last several years were not kind to Thelma, especially after dad’s death, her fall and the increasing deterioration of her sight. Her slow and relentless decline was painful for all to see. She was deeply frustrated and incredibly bored by her predicament, but mercifully she passed away relatively comfortably and peacefully, in her own home. In the months before she died I shared many tender and loving times with her, which I will always treasure.

I echo Alan’s thanks and praise for Team Thelma, her wonderful group of carers, Teo, Emma, Julie & Lettie, who did so much to look after mom in a patient, caring and dignified manner – to them we owe so much.

And a special warm thanks to the Brookfield mob of fabulous neighbours and friends, to whom Thelma’s door was always open, and to all of her other friends here today and abroad who were her true sustenance. Thank you, all of you, for enriching her and my life too.

I also want to add a heartfelt thanks, to my immediate family - my darlings, Gail, Emily and Martha, whose love, support and care for Neil and Thelma over the years has been immense and so important to me and I know to Thelma too.

And finally, a huge thank you to the rest of my weird & wonderful family, from my dear brother Alan, with all our many shared experiences, to my beautiful sisters-in-laws, Jilly, Merle & Diane and to my nephews, Jake Josh & Sam, their partners, Zoe, Rose and Erica and Matty and Joe Mahon and of course Thelma’s great grandchildren, Lila-Rose & Rudy Valentine.

We have all been a great team and I feel so proud to be part of our family which did so much together, to sustain and care for each other and Thelma, right until her end.

Thelma, Mom – you touched many of our lives profoundly and I shall miss you deeply.
Thank you so much.