Thelma Marcuson Tribute

I have been given the honour of reading out some of the messages to the family from friends and relations who could not be here today.

Everyone has expressed their great sadness at Thelma’s death, which was surprisingly shocking even though long expected. All have said how much they will miss her and the gap her absence will leave in their lives; and have written of their appreciation of her lovely pots, her insights, wit and often sharp tongue.

I will read out some other lines that they wrote:

FROM HYAM RABINOWITZ WHO SADLY DIED ON SUNDAY 16TH FEBRUARY IN CAPE TOWN.


Hyam wrote this a few days before his own death, in longhand, Jenni & Nik then e-mailed it to us. He was Thelma’s premier potter friend, and by a simple twist of fate, they died within a week of each other. He was buried in Cape Town yesterday

Thelma, my friend, my sister, whom I have always loved and admired.

One with the courage and conscience to offer a "safe house" in the bad old days of South Africa.
Someone I/we could always go to for wise counsel and advice.

Thelma and Neil, you both always provided a welcome home for us.

Your garden was a beautiful place, and the birds of Johannesburg loved your trees.

I remember a time living in the "garage". Thelma and I were in the habit or referring to our premier South African potter Sias Bosch, as "God". There was a call from Neill one Sunday morning: "Wake up you two, God is coming for breakfast!"

When thinking of "Neily Boy", I'm always reminded of a sharp corner he took too fast on a dirt road in the Pakhuis mountains of the Cederberg. That corner is still known today as "Neil's Bend". It was an auspicious start to a never to be forgotten trip to see the magnificent flowers of Namaqualand.

I am informed that while I write this letter, our names are being mentioned.

It is good to be so remembered and coupled with our beloved Thelma.


FROM: BARRY CANIN IN JOHANNESBURG

Of course both Thelma & Neil (and you guys of course) were my second
family and the biggest single influence in my "growing-up" years. I still
remember Siema Eliovson remarking to Thelma ".. he spends so much time at 18 Bompas, don't you think he should be paying you rent?"

I do hope that Thelma has handed-down many of her famous family recipes; her
talent in that department was legendary. To this day gazpacho and beetroot
borscht transport me back to those wonderful Sunday lunches under the
Jacarandas. Saturday lunches were more informal with Neil & Thel verbally
sparring with each other in the most entertaining way (to my mind at least).
The cherry on the top was her inevitable barb directed at Alan "God Alan,
you're so damn ugly".

Oh well lets just celebrate their wonderfully inspirational lives with a
double G&T and a bowl of blood red borscht.

FROM JACKIE ELIOVSON IN AUSTRALIA

…fond memories of Thelma and Neil at Bompas Road –Bobby and Gail’s
wedding, She took me under her wing when I joined the Eliovson family as a shy
girl not used to Johannesburg life.

FROM NOEL CANIN IN ISRAEL

Although none of us wanted the Duchess to go on living as she was, there can only be a sense of relief now, I find myself flooded with memories from S Africa, of all of you, and I have such a sense of loss, of a very important circle in my life slowly closing off. Thelly was one of the most important people in my life, her caustic warmth and that glint in her eye when she fixed it upon you, I loved her quirkiness, her humor, her wisdom. So now we go on, aging children that we are, looking at our own children, all of us touched by a truly unique human being - which the Duchess never could see, I told her this once and she just couldn't see her own uniqueness.

FROM JOAN PHILIPS IN AUSTRALIA
Thel was a wonderful hostess, with those fabulous lunch parties in the beautiful garden, with vast quantities of delicious food and great company. I particularly remember Nina Campbell-Quine , the artist who taught the young William Kentridge, arriving,as usual, with a jewel on her forehead and a sort of a Stetson hat and boots. "Hullo. Nina" said Thelma, " I wasn't expecting a cowboy", to which Nina replied " I'm dressed like this because I knew I'd meet a cow like you".


FROM RODNEY WALDECK IN PORTUGAL

Thinking about Thelma's death, I was reminded of the Brecht quote:
"Do not fear death much, but rather the inadequate life".
Now, one can say with some certainty that the one thing your Mother most definitely did not have to fear, was of living an inadequate life. I'm not thinking here simply of her achievements as a potter, large as they were.

Her zest for life and generosity, her sense of loyalty and concern for family and friends; her infuriating willingness to lay down the law, or even point out that the tie one was wearing did not properly match one's jacket - they were all, for me, part of Thelma's wonderful, warm, vital and complex personality. So too, of course, was her courage in the face of loss and her love for Neil and her family - a life lived, fully.

Death, as Albee has it "is release, if you've lived all right". Thelma certainly "lived all right"

FROM BARBARA KLUGMAN IN JOHANNESBURG

Thel was my mother's closest friend, and she and Neil played a huge part in creating a space of emotional, social and intellectual comfort for and with my parents and therefore for us as we grew up. Thel was the only of my mother's friends who was able to give me insights into my own mother. In many ways she served as my second mother, able to cut through the issues, and also able to cope with my rather anti-establishment political decisions in ways that provided me personal support when my broader family and community thought I was crazy. I don't know if you all know that she and Neil also provided safe haven to some activists during the state of emergency in the 1980s on my request?
One of her mosaic pieces hangs on the wall of my parents' patio and their house is full of her creations, which means she lives with them.

FROM PETER GOLDSMID IN JOHANNESBURG
I have warm memories of Thelma - sharp, ironic, interested, lively - a woman who inspired friendships and admiration; to say nothing of her exquisite pottery.


FROM MARTY SESINK-CLEE IN LUXEMBOURGH
In the name of Thelma I hug you all very fondly., sharing your sorrow,
I recollect all those wonderful get-togethers, the sharing of friends, art, wonderful
meals, good laughs and tender sharing of sorrow over the years.





FROM SANDRA FORD IN JOHANNESBURG

She was a real matriarch, always so elegant, bright, a wonderful cook, had fantastic taste...... another wonderful character departed. How you will miss her. I am sad I am not there to sing at her funeral - it would have been a privilege to do so.

FROM INGRID AND CHARLES MAGGS

We really loved Thelma - she was so witty and stylish and funny. We were lucky to be amongst her many friends.


FROM MAX & CAROL LEIPOLD AND FAMILY in HERMANUS

Even if 89 represents a full innings, we will all miss her


MEMORIES OF THELMA FROM EMILY AND MARTHA

The way she always smelt the same. It was such a comforting, wonderful smell.

The way you could ask her anything.

The way she was so interested and strangely perceptive about the oddest things.

The way she loved to tell jokes.

The way she laughed.

The way she could switch between the harshest, the sweetest, the kindest, the rudest, the most hilarious of comments.

The way she loved to read.

The way she loved to be read to.

The way we used to sing together.

The way she would regularly call us up to tell us if there was something she thought we’d like to listen to on the radio, or watch on the TV.

The way she would regale us with stories- funny, tragic, bizarre.

The way her bedroom was the living room.

The way we cuddled up next to her. Enveloped by warmth, safety and affection.

The way the paper-thin skin on her arms and hands looked and felt. It was endlessly fascinating.

The way she had the most delicate bone structure in the world.

The way she was always generous and honest in her love.

The way she was unapologetically stubborn.

The way she loved to feed us.

The way she would somehow always see if you dropped a crumb, no matter how bad her sight got.

The way she knew a million songs but could only ever remember the first two lines.

The way she had the blackest sense of humour, but also the silliest at times.

The way you never knew what she was going to say.

The way she was, and always will be, the ultimate matriarch.



Some classic Thelma remarks to Emily and Martha:

"Why is your voice like that, it's not a good voice, you should have voice therapy."

"Have you washed your hair?"

"Yes."

"Really? It looks awful."

"Why are you wearing that? You should change into something else. Look in my closet."

"I don't like the name Martha. From now on I'm going to call you Marty. "
And she did.

“Now I am this old I don’t have to pretend anymore; the truth is I’ve always hated Picasso’s work.”

“You’re all being so sweet to me. If only you were all so lovely all of the time.”


EMILY’S FAREWELL

Oh how we will miss;

Her unconditional wit.
Her unconditional opinions.
Her unconditional style.
Her unconditional love.

Soon before she went she told me to 'Have a lovely life'.
Now, I feel bound to obey her.

My life so far has been so special and blessed because she was in it. Having her as my grandmother and my friend was a treat, a feat and a privilege.

Thelly - I wish you peace and release.

I will miss you forever.

Thank you for everything. I love you.



MARTHA’S FAREWELL

Thelly, even with all these anecdotes and memories, no words can express how much I love you and will miss you. I have had the honour of having you here my whole life and I can’t imagine life without you. Thank you for all the wise words, the jokes, the songs, the meals, the love. You have been the most wonderful grandmother.
Love you always,
Martha