I found a few emails that dad sent me. When I re-read them, they made me laugh a little. They are so typical of him. I'll paste the first one below and then add the other one...
Kathy, I thought you would get a kick out of this.
A Daughter-Father Talk
One time there was a young teenage girl that was about to finish her first year of college. She considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat and her father was a rather staunch Republican.
One day she was challenging her father on his beliefs and his opposition to programs like welfare. He stopped her and asked her how she was doing in school… She answered that she had a 4.0 GPA but it was really tough. She had to study all the time, never had time to go out and party and often went sleepless because all of the studying. She didn't have time for a boyfriend and didn't really have many college friends because of all her studying.
He then asked how her friend Mary, that was attending the same college, was doing. She replied that she was barely getting by. She had a 2.0 GPA, never studied. Was very popular on campus and was at parties all the time. She often wouldn't show up for classes because she was hung over.
He then asked his daughter why she didn't go to the Dean's office and ask why she couldn't take 1.0 off her 4.0 and give it to her friend that only had a 2.0. That way they would both have a 3.0 GPA.
The daughter fired back and said "that wouldn't be fair, I worked really hard for mine and my friend has done nothing". The father smiled and said: "Welcome to the Republican Party".
WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)
To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they
are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...here is
something to make you chuckle.
Whenever your children are out of control, you can take
comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to his own children.
After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.
And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"
"Don't what?" Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve...we have
forbidden fruit!!!!!"
"No Way!"
"Yes way!"
"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
"Why"
"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied,
wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few
minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked!
"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.
"Uh huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did you?" said the Father.
"I don't know," said Eve.
"She started it!" Adam said
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"DID NOT!"
Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that
Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was
set and it has never changed.
BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!
If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children
wisdom and
they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had
trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake
for you?
=====================================================
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them
to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit
down and shut up.
2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their
young.
4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat
word for word what you shouldn't have said.
5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to
remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.
=================================================
ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose
your nursing home one day.
AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A
HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:
"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"
For my first communion mom bought me a snow globe with a little girl praying. After I opened it, dad asked to see it. The snow globe fell to the floor mid-handoff. Of course I blamed this on dad. I was so mad I wouldn't even talk to him. Mom ended up going back to the store and buying me another because I was so upset. There was glitter all over that carpet until the day they replaced it.
Dad used to cry watching movies all the time. Two that I remember well are Rudy and any old war movie. I remember watching an old war movie with dad and as people started dying, dad started crying. I honestly believed, for much of my childhood, that Grandpa McBride was killed in war because of the way this man sobbed. I would always laugh at him, probably because I was somewhat uncomfortable with the sight of this big man crying, and he would call me a "little wretch" and ask me to get him a handkerchief.
This cannot be a Tom McBride tribute without at least one golf story. As you know, Dad had a very Zen approach to life. This carried over to his golf game.
When I was in high school, Dad took Bernie and I golfing a few times with a guy we went to school with and worked with named Mike Wagonner. We usually played a place over in Illinois called Triple Lakes. There was a par 3 there where the tee box was on one hill and the hole was on the next hill. In between was a valley with a lake.
Dad's first shot landed in the lake below with the trajectory of a hall of fame curve ball, gathering speed as it fell. As the ball splashed down, my father raised his club to the heavens and hurled it directly at the front of the golf cart Mike and I were sitting in. He was, of course, cursing in the manner he taught us, but Mike, Bernie and I were laughing so hard, we could not hear it. The club bounced off the cart.
Dad's second shot cleared the lake. He had hit the ball with such force that it stuck for a moment in the side of the next hill, before rolling gently into the lake below. My father must have had a rare moment of clarity at this point, "I almost killed my first born and his dim-witted, slack-jawed friend with the first throw of my club. I shall throw it the other direction this time."
The club flew down the side of the hill end-over-end, bouncing handle-first and clefting in twain before landing in the lake. Mike, Bernie and I were, of course, in enough pain from laughing to require medical attention. Dad, of course, was still cursing.
When the noise subsided, Dad turned to me and said with a smile, "Hey Mikey! Let me borrow your 8-iron!"
When I was 17(!!!), I remember coming home around 2 or 3 in the morning. Dad was laying on the couch and I woke him. He was not worried or upset, he just wanted to talk! This may be verbatim...
Dad: Igor!!
Me: Mmm.
Dad: Sit down a minute. I wanna talk to ya.
Me: Mmm.
Dad: Your smart enough not to take drugs, right?
Me: Yeaaaah?
Dad: And I think by now you know everything you need to know about sex, right?
Me: .............yeaaaah?
Dad: OK, I just wanted to make sure. If you ever have any questions, just ask!
Me: I'm going to bed.
This is the Tom McBride version of the sex talk. Feel free to use it on your children in their late teens
Dad once told me on an election day that he didn't know what was on the ballot so he was just going to vote Republican and No because when you vote Yes on things, taxes go up and when you vote Democrat, taxes go up.
Dad loved to spend money. He loved to buy cars. Specifically, he loved to negotiate any purchase, especially the purchase of a new vehicle. I watched him walk out on so many dealerships and salespeople. He had no problem telling them to "go to hell." They would always call him the next day, though with a better offer. He had some serious skill in negotiating. :)
Since you mentioned dad's love to buy...
I cannot remember a single birthday that dad actually got mom what she asked for. One year in particular mom asked for a new bowling bag. Dad asked me to come along to help pick it out. 15 minutes later we pull up in front of Best Buy. I said, "Dad, what are we doing here? Mom's gonna kill you." We walked out of there with a $1000 stereo which I helped him put together and set up. The entire time I kept repeating, "Mom's gonna kill you." She never did though...
I always loved the story that dad used to tell about the goalie he had at Maryville who was an Art Major. He said his defense was so good that she didn't have much to do during the game. So she drew a mural in the dirt. After half when they switched sides, the other team's goalie was kicking the dirt to mess up her artwork when his team moved in a scored!
This is a story that Dad told a couple times:
He was walking into a restaurant...I think it was Favazza's.
As he walked in, he held the door for a woman who was behind him. As she approached she said, "I can get the door myself".
He then explained how the door on this restaurant was big and heavy..."so I just let it go and it pushed her ass back on onto the side walk"...then she had a hell of a time getting it back open...this he explained with a vindictive glee that I have scarcely seen rivaled.
Dad love to argue, but hated to lose. Unfortunately for him, he had many smart children with whom he loved to argue. Any time I had laid out the perfect winning argument dad would inevitably follow with, "Nobody likes a smart kid." or "Nobody likes a cute kid."
Emails
Kathy Apr 08, 2010
Kathy, I thought you would get a kick out of this.
A Daughter-Father Talk
One time there was a young teenage girl that was about to finish her first year of college. She considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat and her father was a rather staunch Republican.
One day she was challenging her father on his beliefs and his opposition to programs like welfare. He stopped her and asked her how she was doing in school… She answered that she had a 4.0 GPA but it was really tough. She had to study all the time, never had time to go out and party and often went sleepless because all of the studying. She didn't have time for a boyfriend and didn't really have many college friends because of all her studying.
He then asked how her friend Mary, that was attending the same college, was doing. She replied that she was barely getting by. She had a 2.0 GPA, never studied. Was very popular on campus and was at parties all the time. She often wouldn't show up for classes because she was hung over.
He then asked his daughter why she didn't go to the Dean's office and ask why she couldn't take 1.0 off her 4.0 and give it to her friend that only had a 2.0. That way they would both have a 3.0 GPA.
The daughter fired back and said "that wouldn't be fair, I worked really hard for mine and my friend has done nothing". The father smiled and said: "Welcome to the Republican Party".
Kathy (Apr 08, 2010)
Quote
Dianne Feb 10, 2010
First Communion
Dianne Dec 17, 2009
Your bladder is near your eye
Dianne Dec 17, 2009
Golf
Michael Dec 03, 2009
When I was in high school, Dad took Bernie and I golfing a few times with a guy we went to school with and worked with named Mike Wagonner. We usually played a place over in Illinois called Triple Lakes. There was a par 3 there where the tee box was on one hill and the hole was on the next hill. In between was a valley with a lake.
Dad's first shot landed in the lake below with the trajectory of a hall of fame curve ball, gathering speed as it fell. As the ball splashed down, my father raised his club to the heavens and hurled it directly at the front of the golf cart Mike and I were sitting in. He was, of course, cursing in the manner he taught us, but Mike, Bernie and I were laughing so hard, we could not hear it. The club bounced off the cart.
Dad's second shot cleared the lake. He had hit the ball with such force that it stuck for a moment in the side of the next hill, before rolling gently into the lake below. My father must have had a rare moment of clarity at this point, "I almost killed my first born and his dim-witted, slack-jawed friend with the first throw of my club. I shall throw it the other direction this time."
The club flew down the side of the hill end-over-end, bouncing handle-first and clefting in twain before landing in the lake. Mike, Bernie and I were, of course, in enough pain from laughing to require medical attention. Dad, of course, was still cursing.
When the noise subsided, Dad turned to me and said with a smile, "Hey Mikey! Let me borrow your 8-iron!"
Kathy (Dec 16, 2009)
The talk
Michael Dec 03, 2009
Dad: Igor!!
Me: Mmm.
Dad: Sit down a minute. I wanna talk to ya.
Me: Mmm.
Dad: Your smart enough not to take drugs, right?
Me: Yeaaaah?
Dad: And I think by now you know everything you need to know about sex, right?
Me: .............yeaaaah?
Dad: OK, I just wanted to make sure. If you ever have any questions, just ask!
Me: I'm going to bed.
This is the Tom McBride version of the sex talk. Feel free to use it on your children in their late teens
Rock the vote!
Patrick McBride Dec 01, 2009
Where's the blood?
Brian McBride Sep 25, 2009
Dianne (Sep 27, 2009)
Money
Kathy Aug 24, 2009
Dianne (Aug 24, 2009)
Coach
Dianne Aug 19, 2009
I can get the door myself
Brian McBride Aug 19, 2009
He was walking into a restaurant...I think it was Favazza's.
As he walked in, he held the door for a woman who was behind him. As she approached she said, "I can get the door myself".
He then explained how the door on this restaurant was big and heavy..."so I just let it go and it pushed her ass back on onto the side walk"...then she had a hell of a time getting it back open...this he explained with a vindictive glee that I have scarcely seen rivaled.
Patrick McBride (Dec 01, 2009)
Kathy (Aug 24, 2009)
Arguments
Dianne Aug 17, 2009
Dianne (Aug 17, 2009)