Friends and Families of Murder Victims

I have been expereincing extreme guilt over the fact that I was not with my son when he needed me the most. The visual images that I live with: haunt me, in my every waking moment. It is horriffic enough that you have lost a child, how does a parent cope? 

im not a parent yet Victoria, but i did loose two friends to homicide. my girlfriend is wanting to start trying for a child soon, so i guess we'll see