I love and miss you so much, still, every single day. Sometimes i really wish you were close by, or a phone call away. i wish you were here to set this family straight, i just know you would have been right beside mom through all this family drama. Sometimes she really needs you. And all the time i wish you could be ther for her like you always used to be. You and mom against the world. I love you so much Uncle D. I know that you are having such a good time up there. Please will you give Granny a big kiss from me. I love you both so so so much.

Just missing you a lot today ! I have no words ... You have been on my mind a lot today ! I just wanted to tell you that i love you so much and i miss you more then words could ever describe !! Will never , ever stop missing you my special Uncle ! I love you !

Your birthday come and gone! You would have been 45 this year Dix. Getting on in years hey? How I wish you were here for me to actually tease you about your age. I miss you so my brother. Hope you had a party with the angels and mom, dad and Guy! Love you

Hi Dix, We approaching anther Christmas without you. This time round I am far from the family and it makes me miss yo even more. How I wish you were still with me. Nearly nine years since you been gone and I still miss you so much. I still think about you every single day. Have decided to go see a medium. Will you come through? I hop so. I would love to hear from you. I know you close though. I sense you. Never a scary of eerie thought. I just know you close. How is my mom? You so lucky to be with her. I wish she was still her as well.. Havn't heard from your kids for a while. Amanda had a baby. Cute little girl. Chase seems happy about it. Dylyn has broken up with his girlfriend and the last I heard he was very upset. He wanted to come stay by me but i have no place for him right now. Keren must be doing ok. I havnt heard anything form her. I hope she is ok. I would love to see Catherine again. What a cuite pie. We had such a good laugh the last time I saw her. A real 'belly' laugh. You would have loved to hear that. I picture you being an oupa. I think you would have loved them. I think if we had an extra year or two you would have been reunited with all of them. My heart breaks for thm that they never had that with you. Sharnei must be ok to. Hanvt heard from her either. I did see pics of the boys on FB and they are very cute. Growing up nicely now. I miss you Dix. I love you

I miss you today as much as I missed you the day you passed. I come to your site and now mommy's site when things start getting tough. I wish you were here so i could bounce things off you. I am not saying you were the wisest person I knew :-) but at least you would always listen! I have so much running through my head at the moment and I don't know which is the best way to handle this. I love my sisters so much and I hate to see what is going on here. I wish mom was here so I could talk to her about it. I know what she would say though "It is not your problem to fix Yvette. leave it alone. In time it will all come right". I hear the words and then I think "but mom, I know it hurts you to see us like this. I know you hated it when we fought so part of me NEEDS to fix it for you!!" I am so busy trying to work all this out and make sure each of us are ok that I am finding myself focusing on my sisters and not on the loss of my mom. I don't want to realise that six months have passed and only then do I START mourning mom. When you died it was just me. I had my kids and Alan but none of them were here through my mourning you. I had to walk that road alone and I am so determined none of them will feel alone so i am fighting to keep us together. Am I fighting a losing battle Dix? I hear what Ton says, I hear what Sha says and from what they say, I will never again have my sisters all together unless I am at a wedding or a funeral. That is sad. It makes my heart so very sore. What do I do? What would you tell me to do if you were here? What does God expect me to do about it? I just dont know any more. I guess time alone will tell me what is the best way to handle all this. I love and miss you Dix. I wish you were here.

Happy fathersday , hope you doing well, I wish you were here. . Please give gran a big hug from me. I love you . Keren

Hey Dix. You have mommy with you again after so many years. I am so happy for you but I miss her so very very much. I promised myself I was not going to go through this like I did when I lost you and here I sit three weeks and 4 days later and I am dying inside. I thought losing you was hard but it is a different loss this time. With you it was the emptiness, the habit, the every day memories that killed me. It took me three years to get to a point that I could talk about you without breaking. With mommy its different. It is the woman who gave me life, my mother. I just want to curl up into a little ball and die the hurt is so bad. Dix give her the hardest biggest hug for me and let her know I love her. Tell her that I will honour her wishes if it is the last thing I do here on earth. Just love her my brother. Love her enough for all of us that she has left behind. There is drama going on down here of which I am certain you are aware but my promise to you stays in tact and it always will. Your children will always know the truth from me and I believe as the kids get older, no one will be able to speak the rubbish that they try to do about you. Your kids WILL defend you because they will know that you loved them and that you made mistakes in your life but everyone of your sins have been forgiven and you are free, safely present with the Lord. I love you and I miss you. Look after mommy for me.

Hope you doing okay.. While I was reading trough the messages tears ran down my face.. Do you know how my heart aches for not knowing you or even met you. But I know you never stop looking for us.. Dad, my father.. I wish you where here... There is so much that I want to ask you... And tell you. Dad I never knew it could hurt this much , I could miss you this much.. Its like you are the part of me that I wiLl just never meet in life.. I'm so thankfull for Aunt yvette, she is a good person.. If I'm. Near her its almost as if I'm near you and Rene and Ang have made my life so much fuller.. They Care so much. I'm glad that I have met them and to be apart of them.. I geuss to get to know you is to be with them.. I love you my dear father and I forgive you for not being there for all of us.. It wasn't your fault. I hope oneday I would be able to speak to you.

yvettev

11 years ago

Those were such beautiful words my girl. Tears running down my face as I read it. I know your dad is smiling down on you and i know those words mean more to him than you will ever know. You are 100% right in saying to know him is to know us. We are your link to him and we will do whatever we can to help you through this time. It is a tough thing to have never met your dad but remember always that although you cans see or hear him he is right there beside you all the time. I love you my girl

Damn I am missing you today! I have not had such a 'bad day' in ages! Angie played a song this morning and said 'this is my song for Uncle D' and I have not been able to stop crying since! I am fighting with Tons (again) (whats new you ask)? and missing you has made it so much worse. I hate fighting with my sisters just like I hated fighting with you. I wish you were here so I could pick up the phone and say 'hey come visit I need to chat'! So much is happening and with mommy being ill I miss you more! i NEVER KNEW LOSING YOU WOULD BE THIS HARD! I knew I wold miss you but after 8 years one would think that the ache in my heart would be different! It is not. it is exactly the same as it was in the first year that you were gone. I can still hear your voice! I can still hear your laugh! I can still hear you walking down the passage singing Michael Bolton at the top of your lungs!! God I wish you were still here. I guess I need to pull myself together. My kids are all grown up now except for little Wazzie who you never met! Daz is engaged! You would be so proud of him. Big day on my birthday coming up and you not here to see it. Sit in Heaven with Dad and God and watch ok? I will listen for you. I love you Dix. I miss you

If tears could build a stairway And memories were a lane, I would walk right up to heaven To bring you home again. No farewell words were spoken. Not enough time to say good-bye. You were gone before we knew it, And only God knows why. My heart still aches in sadness And secret tears still flow. What it meant to lose you, No one will ever know. I miss you my crazy brother, especially now when I think all your sisters need you.

If tears could build a stairway And memories were a lane, I would walk right up to heaven To bring you home again. No farewell words were spoken. Not enough time to say good-bye. You were gone before we knew it, And only God knows why. My heart still aches in sadness And secret tears still flow. What it meant to lose you, No one will ever know. I miss you my crazy brother, especially now when I think all your sisters need you.

I Love you. I miss you. Wish you were with us. Mom still hanging on. Still fighting. I know now where you get your stubborness from. she is just like you. it is your 'valentine baby's' birthday on sunday and she will be with us this year. Look down and smile on her. I know you are close. i can feel you. Miss you so.

Hey you, I have felt your presence around me so much lately. Its as if you hanging around knowing that I wish with all my heart you were here. Mommy was diagnosed with cancer just over a month ago (I know you know - just be quiet and listen!) My heart has not been so sore since before I lost you. Dix if you could only have been here through this. I know that mommy has so much that she wants to say to you and i know she will get the chance when she sees you again but part of me thinks that is why she WANTS to go. I hate seeing mommy like this. It brings back ALL the memories of watching you die. I have relived those last 8 or 10months over and over again and it is killing me. The only difference this time is that it is Tons watching it everyday and not me. Tons is going through every emotion that I felt while I was walking this road with you and my heart breaks into millions of pieces for her. I know exactly how hard this is and i know exactly the fear she faces. Thank God she is stronger than i was. Thank God I walked that road or else i would not be able to support her through this. I will not let her be alone without us because i know how hard it was for me to walk this alone with you. I know you have 'visited' her from time to time and if you can, visit her again and let her know you are there. She needs all of us so much. Mommy is hanging on because she knows what losing you did to us and she does not want us to hurt like that again. Mommy does not want to die just like you did not want to go. It hurts so much to watch her fade away before our very eyes. The only consolation for me is that she gets to see you again. She gets to tell you all the things she never got the chance to tell you while you were here. she misses you so much Dix. I miss you so much. Shan and tess are also taking major strain. This is the hardes thing for us having to watch our mommy die and in some ways i am grateful that you dont have to do it but selfishly I wish you were here for me. i wish I could feel your arms around me and hear you tell me its all going to be ok. I met your grand daughter the other day. she has red hair! She is beautiful though. You would be so proud of your grandchildren. Little juandre is sooo cute and is getting big now. nathan is a beautiful baby as well. Your kids miss you and Sharnei has taken major strain over not having any link with you whatsoever. At least the other kids have pictures with you and they know you wanted them. This poor girl has nothing. I wish there had been a letter or something to them. Anyway, I guess they will all have their time with you one day. I miss you Dix. Look after mommy when she comes home. I love you Fats

Hey my uncle, the other day Daz walked into the kitchen tears running down his cheeks and i asked whats wrong and he said " uncle derek's song just played on the radio" i held him and said "dont be sad be happy cause Uncle derek was saying hi and letting you know he is watching over you" he misses you so much. I went to fetch chase from school on friday and guess what he was doing, standing at the school gate chatting up the girls and please note not one but two girls so wrapped up in them he did not see me i had to drive right up to him roll the window call and wave at him and oh if you could have seen how he rolled his eyes at me, ever the teenager. But he is such a good boy, i told him if i ever have to wait again i will roll all 4 windows down blare on the the radio the Barney I LOVE YOU song and i will do the signals with it, he just looked at me and said " you would not do that" i told him be late again and lets see if i do it or not. He misses you too and he is getting so big and we see him often now which is good for him and for us because we always have a part of you and he always has a part of you around. we miss you uncle Derek and i hope that you are all ok up there in heaven waiting for us but at the same time not hoping to see any of us up there soon. Love you millions Nay

As the moon continues to control the tides of the seas, as the stars appear every night in the deep black sky & as the sun rises on the top of hills & mountains everyday, so will my love for you continue in its eternity as God created. RIP my brother.

So long since I visited your memorial site my brother. You have not been far from my thoughts though. Still not a day goes past that I don't think of you. You are an oupa for the second time now and there is another little piece of you that will be arriving soon hen Keren has her baby. Angie had a dream a while ago that you were standing holding a baby girl so when Keren told us she was having a little girl Ang knew you had let her know what was coming. Your kids hurt so much that they never got the chance to meet you but I promise Dix that I wil always do your memory proud! It was such a shock when we first met Dylyn because he looks soooo much like you. I know that you look down at us and I know you see them but I wish with all my heart we had found them sooner so that they could have met their dad. I know it is especially hard for Dylyn sometimes. A boy needs his dad from time to time and especially because he never knew you he battles now. I will do whatever I can to always let him know that you loved them even though you never met them and that you never forgot their birthdays and always thought of them on special days. You can be proud of them Dix. Their moms have done a good job with your children. Chase misses you and has been spening a lot of time with us lately. He is such a wonderful boy and Amanda does her very best for him. Your memory lives on with them both. I love and miss you so much Dix. Mommy and Ton, Sha and Tess miss you to. Hope you looking after Noel for us, and Oups as well. Say hi to daddy and all our family that are there with you. Love you always and forever. Your sister, Fats x0x0x0x0x

TImes have been so hard lately but i know that you are up there looking down on us and making sure we are all ok, i know chase has been missing you terribly but you dont have to worry we will take care of him and mom makes sure he is ok. she misses you too. I love you uncle Derek, send me an angel kiss so i can pass it on.

Father,today is your birthday. We wish we could have met you. But we know that dad is watching over us. Every step of the day. And i believe that you are happy that we finally met the family... We will never forget you, you will always remain in our thoughts. Hope you have a lovely birthday with God. Love you. Keren and Dylyn. X

One of the funniest memories i have of you was on Daz' 16th birthday, we had a party at home for him and all his friends and "we Adults" were in my room chatting giving them their Privacy and we heard the music and you said you were going to dance and give them a show, you took my black and blue joker hat and we followed you into the lounge and true to your word you danced like a crazy man infront of daz and all his friends. we thought you would embaress him but they all thought you were so cool.. Thank you for bing the amazing uncle you were, never saying no to me when i needed a lift home from work no matter what time i finished or how tired you were you got into your car and said "hello my girl how was your Day??" I love and miss you, and now we are finally a family all of us back together.

Sitting here after finding Keren and Dylyn and the memories keep rishing back..When Uncle Derek lives with us during his final years he used to walk past me and brag about how good looking he was. The one day i was sitting in the lounge and Uncle Derek walked down the stairs od his shower and he was smiling from ear to ear.. I asked him why he was smiling and he said "i hate looking at myself in the mirror" So iasked him why to witch he responded "cause i cant hug myself" Him and i laughed so hard after tha! Mine ad Darryns favourite memory is every time uncle Derek used to walk past one of us we would say "HOWZIT" and then unce Derek would say "LEKKER" Myse;f and my Brothers and Sister will always cherish the memories we made with you.. While watching the vidoe of you with Keren and Dylyn i heard your laugh and it made me miss you even more!! Even though you are gone and we hear laugh on a video, you still light up the room!! We love you Uncle Derek!! I know you are smiling ffrom ear to ear up there because before you passed away you asked mommy to find your children and today we have them in our lives!! I wish you were here but Keren and Dylyn will get to know you through us just like Sharnei did!! I love and miss you everyday!!

Kristyn and I had slept over at your place and we woke up early in the morning - Chase was still so little! I made you your morning tea which you said was the best cup of tea you had had in ages. While we sat around having tea you asked what we felt like doing that day and we all said we wanted to go to Gold Reef City for the day... and so you took us. We went on all the rides and had such an awesome day - the best ever. I miss you and love you Uncle D.

Daddy,i didnt even knew you,but when i found out that you are dead,it hurt real bad... I wish God didnt took you so soon... I wish God gave us the upportunity to meet you,to really know you.You will always remain in my thoughts.I would really like to get in contact with any family member of my daddy. So please phone me by 0730839507 or my mom 0769716357. Love keren.

We were sad to have found out on the 8th of November 2009 that our father has past away. We wanted to meet him. But now its too late.

A funny memory to start off with - the day I made you bunk school with me and we went to my friends house. You were sitting on your bicycle in the garden reading a magazine when the social worker walked in to come and fetch me - your face was priceless!!! All you did was lift the magazine to cover your face and wait for us to leave. When you got home from 'school' you were expecting me to have told mommy you were with me but I had not. I think that we both knew from then on that we would always cover for one another. I miss you so very much!