My favorite memory of Joel is something he wouldn't want me sharing the details of with everyone- I was one of his nurses. it was a tense situation that evening and for some reason he and I both started cracking up and couldn't control our laughing. We'd start to get it under control and look at each other and start laughing again- and Joel was in pain! We had to just stop what we were doing and everyone left the room and he and I just had really hard belly laughs for what felt like 15 min or so. It is one of my most precious memories of Joel. I miss him so much, especially this time of year. I love you, Rach, and I love your brother so much and miss him deeply.

Joel I'll never forget when friday rolled around in high school and you and I only had one thing on our mind. Drinking beer's and talkin politics at the P-North pool. It was such a simple thing but there was nothing better in the world. I finally got the tattoo of the medical symbol. I told you I would stay true to my word. It goes from my shoulder to my ass and it hurt like mother, but it was completley worth it. It's kind of a little reminder to me that to stay strong and don't sweat the small things. It's a reminder to stay positive because now that your gone, I dont feel like there's a whole lot to be positive about. I just kind of stumbled upon this website. I feel good about this site. I needed to let a whole lot off my chest that I just couldnt do on "facebook". It's just that I dont want people simpithising for me when I write on your wall. I dont need to let the whole internet know that you were my best friend. I knew it and you knew it. Thats enough for me. I miss you like hell. Ive had a lot of trouble here in NYC. Friends are hard to come by. Ive just had alot of trouble interacting with people since you died. I had to give up alcohol for a long time cause it just consumed me. It was my escape from facing the sad fact that I had lost you. I woke up one morning from a 3 month drinking binge after you had died and realized that I had to face it the right way, only I found that sleeplessness, sickness, and withdrawl's soon set in. It took me, ironically enough, till my 21 birthday to really get better. And now the tattoo is a reminder to me to stay tough, on the right path, and positive. I love you brother. I'm glad I finally worked up the nerve to write this. I couldnt even communicate with my own roomates. they thought I just had mono for half a year. I dont talk to your family to much. I love them to death. It just is hard to speak with them. I think about them all the time. I know we always had that conflict of what happens when you die. That conversation always got heated, but I hope for your sake that you were wrong. And if so I'll see you there in time.

Rachel, you are such an amazing person! Joel was sooooo lucky to have a sister like you. I know that things are hard now and will continue to be, but like you said, the good times are the best!!!! Remember when we were guarding at the Overlook, Joel and a friend of his came up to the pool to bring you your car. They were like little kids running up the stairs and flying down the slide!! Only to get out, run up, and do it again! Crazy kids! What they didnt realize....as soon as they left, we were splashin around just like them! Ha Ha! Love ya!

Oh Rachel- remember the time you got bit by a dog?! Well after we were at the hospital Joel drove me home and we laughed the whole way home about how only these bizarre things happen to you! :)

thanks Rachel. It is very pure what you do.

First, Rachel your an amazing sister to Joel. I had a lot of memories a funny thing I remember was the morning after prom when Joel announced to the whole party Kelsey had gone to the bathroom on the floor. Typical Joel just saying what was on his mind and not caring that it might upset Kelsey. I will always remember what a good friend he was to me and how he would always teach me little lessons on life when we would go on walks at the park or when we would go fishing which he absolutely loved. Senior year in Mr. Thomas's class he would always call me out on dumb remarks I would say and was so mean to me but it always had me laughing because I did deserve it. He would always say "Rachel, just quit talking you make no sense and are an embarrassment." I miss his blunt yet humorous comments, his witty personality and his bright smile. He was a great friend to me and I miss him terribly.