Hey Lukey, You wouldn't believe the trouble I've had trying to write you. I wrote to you last night from my parents' house, but then their computer froze, then I realized that I hadn't signed in and couldn't remember my password. I've been trying to write today from home, but still can't remember my password (usually from my computer it has just come up automatically, but for some reason it wasn't today.) It keeps saying it has sent me my password, but it hasn't. So, I got tricky and signed up a new account under my work email. Tricky, eh? Anyway, you and your parents have been on my heart and mind a lot yesterday and today, especially at church yesterday, then, today, as I was driving to see my grandma, I swear the song that used to be on here came on the radio. I figure I just must remember it wrong, the song on the radio had words, and the one on here before didn't. Anyway, regardless, it made me think of you of course. I'm sure that you were watching over your parents today. I hope that they can feel you. I hope that they feel the comfort of God's hand. I've been praying for that. Today is the birthday of another special boy. It is because of him that I know that we will one day meet again and I am thankful for that. I miss you Lukey. I'm looking forward to the day when I see you well and whole, like you never were able to be here on earth. No therapy in heaven, only play for fun! Love, hugs and kisses always, Mary Ann

Dear Luke, Merry Christmas! I am sure that there is a great celebration today. And you are going to be part of it! I saw a Christmas tree yesterday strung with lights. I was squinting at it for fun, and I saw the greatest thing. All the lights were blurred together execpt for a couple spaces. The spaces were in the shape of and LH and a heart. I knew it was a message from you up in Heaven. Well Merry Christmas! Love, Cassidy

Merry Christmas Lukey! Thank you, thank you for sharing wondrous joy and celebrating the birth of Jesus with us. I hear your song and see you shining so brightly! Thank you for sharing your love, today and every day.

Hi Lukey, Merry Christmas Buddy! It is Christmas Eve and I really miss you a lot. Each Christmas Eve I wrote a letter to Santa for you since you were so young. This is something my Dad used to do. We would leave a letter and a snack for Santa. I loved doing that and seeing the letter Santa would write in return when I got up Christmas morning. I want to write one more from you and I this Christmas. I hope that is okay. I just want Santa to know what we have been up to. In a way, you are kind of being Santa yourself. Because of you, so many kids will be getting gifts. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I didn't forget about our letter. I just wish you were here to share it with me. I know you are here but in a different way now. So, I am going to go now and write that letter. Please help me like you always did. I love you. Good night Champ! Daddy Loves You!

Merry Christmas, Lukey! I am sorry it has taken me this long to write. I visit you on this page, but never quite know the right words to share. I had an experience yesterday morning that I wanted to share with your mommy. I couldn't stop thinking about it all day! (you probably are chuckling because you know what I am about to say!). I was driving to work yesterday morning..as I usually do...(quite hurried!!) ...then I noticed the most beautiful ray of sun come through my windshield. The color was so golden...I have never seen anything like it before. I looked around at the beautiful ray in my car and all I could think of was YOU. I felt warm on my back. The ray lasted only a couple of minutes in my car and then was swallowed up by the clouds...but it hasn't left my mind, which is why I felt I had to share this with your mommy. Merry Christmas, Lukey! You are very loved. Love, Kristen Lunn

Hello Little Buddy, I hope that you liked the little gift Daddy and I brought to your old self today. Your headstone is BEAUTIFUL, just as we expected. It suits you perfectly. This has been a hard day, as I am sure you know. We went to the children's mass at church. I know you were there with us. Gram and Pap Hadley came to visit us tonight. They brought us a special sock monkey ornament and a very precious lenox ornament with a couple of your pictures. We all miss you, Luke. So much. I so much wish that you could be here with us, but I know you are celebrating a BIG birthday in Heaven. Eat some cake and ice cream and savor every bit of it. Your Grandma Hadley gave me a book that I want to read something from: "There are things about Christmas that remind us of spiritual realities that can bring great comfort. We think of Jesus becoming a child like ours, sent to suffer and die for us- and we marvel at God's love. We remember the angels who celebrated Jesus' birth- and we wonder if they welcomed our dear child into heaven. We ponder the loving care Mary gave to her child - and we pray that she may be caring for our child also. We recall the tender mercy Joseph showed to his son- and we hope that he might be watching over our child as well. " (Wezeman 45) A Reading from the Book of Luke: "In that region there were shepherds living in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night. Then an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid; for see- I am bringing you good news of great joy for all the people; to you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is the Messiah, the Lord" (Luke 2.8-11). Christmas is such a 'MIXED BLESSING,' Lord. We celebrate the birth of your Son, and mourn the loss of our own child. Help us to focus on the spiritual realities. Amen. I love you Luke...I am wishing you a joyous Christmas morning with our Savior. I hope you have the best celebration ever. I love you, buddy. Love, Mommy

Good morning little man! I hope you have a wonderful time celebrating Jesus' birthday with him in heaven. Know that I'll be thinking of your smile - it's been really gray and rainy here - please send a little ray of sunshine to your mommy and daddy to brighten their day tomorrow - they'll know it's you smiling at them. Merry Christmas - Love you always!

Hi Baby I had to leave work early today....I just couldn't take it. I broke down, Lukey. I don't know how I am going to survive without you. I miss you so much I feel like my heart is broken. When I came home, I got all of the pictures out. All of them. I started crying harder Lukey....there are so many beautiful pictures of you. I went all the way back to when you were just born, all the way through your last days. It was quite a journey you took, buddy. You had such a personality and i see now that you really did have a lot of suffering in your short life. I'm so sorry. I just hope that you were truly happy and having good times in all of the smiling pictures. You almost always had a smile on your face. Right up to the end. I am glad the suffering is over Lukey, I'm just sorry you had to endure any of it. You deserved so much more than life gave you. We all loved you and gave you everything we could to help you. I just wish you could have been given a chance to really live, like a healthy child. To eat, to run and play, to sing and to tell your mommy and daddy you loved them. I'm sorry things were the way they were. You deserved so much more baby. Just know you were loved more than any child ever could have been. You are in my heart. I love you. Love, Mommy

"Then little children were being brought to him in order that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples spoke sternly to those who brought them; but Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of heaven belongs" (Matthew 19:13-14). I love you Lukey, I hope you are enjoying your new kingdom.

Hi Lukey, I am so sorry that your headstone wasn't there when I visited you today. I am hoping it was a late delivery and that it arrived after I left. I could not have been more disappointed. I saw that Peg left you a beautiful Christmas swag. I am so so sorry it has taken me so long to visit the final resting place of your old self. I wanted to see it with the big beautiful headstone we have told you so much about. Coming to see that spot was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I dont know if you noticed, but I took a small stone with me. I will keep it close to me always. I had a couplet of talks with people today about you. You know who I talked to. And I'm sure you are aware I would have liked to have punched #1 in the head. :-) I love you buddy. I miss you and can't wait until we meet again, Love Mommy

It is kind of weird, Luke. I think that you sent me a message. I was sitting on the bus and put my finger up on the window. The bus moved a little and I sat there for a while. I looked up after that. On the window was written, EVERYDAY. I was a little freaked out but I wrote out WHAT?, because the bell was ringing around my neck. I closed my eyes again and put up my finger. And you know what? I wrote IN YOU! That means that my message was EVERYDAY IN YOU!!! And to get a little weirder, though I know that you know already, on the afternoon bus, I asked if it was Lukey. You answered YES!!! Thank you for being with me. Though, maybe next time I will be more ready for the message. Love, Jessica

Dear Luke, I had a dream about you the other night. You were happy and giggling and having a great time. You were visiting your parents and friends down on earth and you made everyone smile. I know you are having fun. I hope that you have fun celebrating Jesus' birthday, it is only three days away. I hope you are happy because you make me happy. It is really cold here, I hope it is warm and comfortable up there. Love Cassidy

Hi Lukey! I have some sports updates for you. Our steelers lost a tough one today. The good news is that we are still the number 2 seed in the playoffs. One more season game and then it is playoff time. On a brighter note our Pitt Panthers won tonight. They beat Florida State. It was a tough game, but they pulled it out. We are 12 - 0 now and still ranked #3. The next game is on New Year's Eve and will be the first Big East game. We play Rutgers. That will be a tough one too. Also on New Year's our Pitt football team plays in their bowl game against Oregon State. Go Pitt! I have other good news. The kids in our school district raised over $8,000 to help your friends at the hospital. Isn't that awesome. They did this because you inspired them. You are amazing buddy. So many people have been inspired by you! I love you very much and miss you SSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoo much! Good Night Champ! Love Daddy!

Dear Lukey, I know I've never met you, but I've seen you. In all of your pictures you're smiling. I've never seen anyone so happy all the time! Jessica wrote saying that her bell is your voice. When I hear it, I don't hear a ting or a ping, but a little boy laughing. In my mind your warm smile. Have you met my Uncle Glenn, or my dog and cat. If you haven't, they would love you forever. Your face hangs in my room where I'll see it everyday. Right next to my Rainbow Bridge card. Thinking of you makes me smile, my mind joyful long after the thought is gone. So many people love you. You are such a special boy, Luke. May you be happy and free. Love, Elena

Lukey Yesterday would have been your 28 month birthday. Did you celebrate in Heaven? I thought of it in the morning, and then forgot to tell you when I wrote. I am so sorry. Please know that I didn't forget the 20th. I miss you so much. I know I tell you that all the time, but it is only because I do. Lukey, I understand you have a new friend in Heaven. Baby Christian came yesterday. Please look out for him and welcome him into your loving arms. Keep a close eye on his Mommy and Daddy down here, too. It will be a sad Christmas for many of us here on Earth because we have lost you, and other loved ones. Keep smiling and know that I am always thinking of you, my sweet boy. I love you Mommy

Dear Lukey, You are so sweet. I hope you are having fun. Today in church, I was thinking of you, and all of a sudden, the church lit up in light from the sun. I know it was you smiling down on me. I hope you have lots of friends up there. If you see my Aunt Katie, I know she will make you laugh. That is her favorite thing to do. I know that everyone misses you down here on earth, especially your parents. Your parents are so great and sweet. Your mommy is my favorite teacher ever. Your daddy came to visit us at school and talk about you. Well I hope you are having fun with all of the other angels. I will be thinking about you. Love Cassidy

Hi Tiny...It seems you have been a busy little boy lately. Watching out for people and protecting them. Visiting people. Liann told me you were laughing at her. You always thought she was funny. She IS funny. You love her. She said you were a bit surly in her dream and it cracked me up. Know something funny? This morning I came downstairs and got the coffee started and as I stood waiting for it, I thought I could hear a faint ringing sound. Like bells. I stopped, listened really closely and then decided I must be going crazy. A few minutes later, once my coffee was ready, I came onto your website to see who has visited you and I read Jessica's note about wearing the bell around the neck, and her reference to angels. Lukey, I almost fell off the chair. I just kept saying, Oh, Lukey, you are here. What a way to start the day. I love you buddy. Thanks for visiting me. Then tonight, I went to see the Nutcracker. Did you know there were bumblebees in the Nutcracker? I didn't! I think it was you in disguise. You really are keeping busy. Busy as a bee! HA! Mommy and her silly jokes. I love you buddy. I wish you were here in my arms. xoxo

Hey Lukey, I've been thinking about you a lot lately. As I was going to sleep last night I started thinking about your kisses for some reason. I miss your kisses. I do wonder sometimes if you see us here and help us sometimes. My dad had an accident last weekend and is extremely fortunate he wasn't hurt more. Everyone keeps saying how lucky he was. He is home now. I wonder if you were watching over him, someone certainly was. You are an angel, you always were. I miss you and love you Lukey. Lots of love and kisses too of course! Mary Ann

Dear Luke, Are you with me? I feel as if you always are. If you are in my mind, and in my heart, you never really left. It is true that your soul left your body, but did your soul leave those that you love? I don't think so. You remain in heaven and with us. We just can't see you like before. Is that true? I can close my eyes and see you there. There are large, spacious fields over the clouds. It can be whatever you want it to. There is the biggest swing, angels playing, and your own little cottage. Can I visit you? I want to see your cottage. I know that it is filled with your smile, and in the middle, you can look down on us. And in the night, you can swim through our dreams... and sing the songs of every angel. Stay with me please, Jessica

I am sure you know already that I spent the day with your mom on Saturday. I had a great time. Lately I have been wearing a bell around my neck. I read somewhere that bells are the voices of angels. You are my angel. You are many people's angel. When I fall, the bell rings, but I never hit the ground. Did you catch me Lukey? I love to hear angel's voices. It is the one thing that can remind me of you every moment of every day. I kiss it before I go to bed, and hold it in my hands as I pray. You are always with me my dearest Lukey. I love you. I love you. I love you. Jessica

Your head is full of knowledge You shine like the sun Your eyes glisten like the moon Your voice sings a beautiful song Your arms hug and never let go Your hands hold the world and welcome kindly Your legs run wild and free Everyone around loves you so much And down here on earth you are very much missed You are beautiful and loving and kind

Lukey, I wrote to you several days ago, but now I don't see it. I thought I would try again! I know this is a hard Christmas for your mom and dad. Your house looks great with the lights outside, and I know your light shines inside also. I can't imagine how wonderful your Christmas will be in heaven. You have made such an impact in this world - Merry Christmas! Love, Jackie

One day, Somehow, Their paths shall converge, Their hearts become one, And as the bells ring, An angel shall sing. The road will be hard. They shall endure it. Their path will be long. They shall bear it. For they know, The angels will sing, As the bells ring, And they shall walk down the road, Together once more.

Luke, I know we are all still under your watchful, beautiful eyes. I miss seeing you look so intently at your mom as she is talking with me. I think of you often and know you are helping your mom and dad make it through each day. You can be proud of them as they are just as amazing trying to heal as they were with you each and every day. They have some terrific plans for your foundation. Your mom gave me a beautiful gift with your picture inside. It was the best present ever. I think that Christmas will be hard for them this year so try to give them a few signs that you are fine in Heaven. Good night, Luke! Love, Peg

Hi Baby I was looking through pictures this morning...looking at your progress through various stages of your 2 years here. I saw so many smiles. Toward the end there were less and less smiles and more sadness and pain in your eyes. It breaks my heart to know you were suffering. I am so glad you aren't suffering now, but would give my life to see that beautiful smile of yours again. Are you and Emma playing together? I hope so. I think of the two of you together every time I see a bumble bee and butterfly. I just wanted you to know I am thinking about you now and always. I love you Lukey.

Lukey! I have been unable to post anything on this crazy site for days! I have been going nuts b.c it just hasn't been working. I was ready to switch to another company..... it still may come to that. How are you, my baby??? I miss you so much, I can't even begin to tell you how much. It is so hard to be here without you. I hope you are having fun in Heaven. I still wish you were here though. Barnes and Noble fundraising was amazing on Saturday! So very many people came to support you and the Child Life Fund. You are a celebrity. Nothing is the same without you, Luke. Daddy and Grammy Cracker and I are all so sad. We talk about you as much as we can. It is going to be so hard to have Christmas without you. I dont want to celebrate. I just want to hold you close. I love you Luke. It breaks my heart to think that I wont ever hold you again. I HATE IT! I would give anything in the world to have my baby back. I send you lots and lots of hugs and kisses and talk to you everyday. Do you hear me? I feel so out of touch with you I cant stand it. PLEASE come and visit me Lukey. PLEASE let me know you are okay. You're special headstone will be placed Monday. I will go to visit your former self next week. I love you Tiny. I love you. Love Mommy

Hi buddy. I just wanted to say I Love You! You are such an amazing boy Luke. You are teaching us all so much. I actually talked to the entire middle school this week about the Child Life Program. I told them all a bit about you and what we learned when we stayed at the hospital. I taught them about the children who have to be there and how sad and challenging that an be. You really taught our students so much about how fortunate they are and now they are doing a lot to help those friends of yours who have to be at the hospital. I am very proud of you buddy. You are doing so much to help so many children and in so many ways!!! I think the Pens won tonight. I hope so anyway. They were winning 5-1 the last time I saw. I'll be disappointed if they gave up that lead. They really ned a win after three tough losses. I guess I should go to bed. I'll be up in your room to say our prayers in a few minutes!! I love you buddy! Thank you for being the most amazing son in the world! Love, Daddy

Hi Lukey Jen was here today to talk to Daddy and I. Do you remember her? You were really sick when you met her, but I know you know who she is. She is so sweet, she brought us the Angel of Remembrance from WIllow Tree. Remember all the willow tree angels i have? We have received quite a few for you in the last few weeks. The Heart of Gold, Hope, and they all perfectly represent you! You are the most special angel of all. It is so hard to believe that today marks 6 weeks since you went to Heaven. It feels like I havent seen you in so long, but it also feels like you only just left. I know you are here with us. I love you so much Luke. I miss you terribly...it breaks my heart that you are gone forever. Just continue to smile down on us and dont forget to give a visit to your Grammy Cracker and the rest of us. You are my #1 tiny, I love you. Love, Mommy xoxoxo

Just because I've never seen you, Doesn't mean you're not beautiful. Just because I've never heard you, Doesn't mean your voice isn't the sweetest. Just because I've never touched you, Doesn't mean you're not as soft as the clouds. Just because I've never hugged you, Doesn't mean you're not full of love.

Let heaven rain and soak my cheeks Let your soul swim through my own Upon a rain soaken face A smile will appear However long it shall take I will wait for you The pain may take its time subside But for those we love We shall wait Heaven never rushes And angels exist in pain An angel, you are In pain and in joy

Hi Tiny, How are you? I hope the weather in Heaven is better than it is here. Although I am pretty sure every day there is beautiful. Stacey wrote you a nice message. There are a lot of exciting times coming up for you to celebrate. I hope you have fun. I sure do miss you. I hope you don't mind, but Daddy and I decided not to put up a tree this year. We have a light in every candle for you, though. We are going to change a few things around here. I will let you know how it all looks when it is done. But you will probably be here helping us! Oh sweet boy, I have been listening to "My Lukey CD" over and over....uncle David made it for me. I gave him a list of special songs that remind me of you and he made them into a CD. I love it. It does make me a little sad, but it makes me happy at the same time. Another one of my former students wrote a beautiful poem for and about you and just sent it to me. Here it is: A tear is crystal clear, But it holds so much inside. It may hold the joy and happiness of the world, Or maybe its sadness and woe. Those tears of sadness for you escape my eyes, And crash to the floor. But one day, I know I'll remember something. I'll remember that his time here wasn't spent in vain, Nor was it wasted. I'll remember that when he left his heart was filled with love, And affection flowed through his blood. Then I shall cry those tears of joy, But may they touch your heart as they fall to the ground. Thats pretty impressive for a 12 year old, huh? Actually, she may still be 11. The big Barnes and Noble fundraiser in your honor is this Saturday! Lots of people are going. That is because lots of people love you! Oh, my Tiny Wee, you are so very special. Hey I noticed some water marks on the kitchen counter this morning that were sort of looking like a smily face. I think it was you! I love you buddy....come and visit me ASAP. xoxo Love, Mommy

Hi Lukey, It has taken me a while to write. Never sure what to say or how to express my feelings. I just know that a day doesn't go by that I don't think of you. I talk with Mommy often and she is such a strong person. I know you are watching over her giving her strength each day! I wanted to let you know that we put your picture on our special tree. We only have ornaments on the tree that have special meaning. Your picture Mommy gave me is on there in an angel frame. My son Jeffrey looks at each day asks about you and if you are having fun with God. I tell him absolutely. Come and visit him, I know he would love to meet you! I know that you are enjoying the heavens and God's love. If I don't talk with you soon have fun celebrating at Jesus' birthday party! Stacey

Hi Lukey - I have some exciting sports updates for you. Our Pitt Panthers won the final game of the regular season over Connecticut 34 - 10. That makes us 9-3 which is our best record since, I think, 1982! We will play Oregon State in the Sun Bowl on New Year's Eve. Our Pitt basketball team is still undefeated and now ranked #3 in the country. I can't wait for Big East games to start. I think our first one is on New Year's Eve. That will be quite a day. Our Steelers had an exciting comeback today against the Cowboys. We were losing a lot of the game, but hung in there and won. I'm proud to see the effort they put forward. I always think of you when I see a team try so hard. No one is as strong as you bud. I think I am going to go to bed soon, but I wanted to give you the sports update. I love you buddy! I miss you sooooooooo much. I'll be up there in your room soon to say our prayers. Have a good night bud. Love you! - Daddy

Hi Sweet Boy, How do you do? I miss you so much. More everyday. It is so cold here Lukey, and even colder without you. I'm not sure if I told you but your big beautiful headstone should be at your grave by Christmas. It really is beautiful. We even ordered bumblebees on it. I can't wait for it to be there. You deserve something special. Christmas is sneaking up here quickly. Its hard to believe how fast the time goes. I am dreading Christmas morning... it wont be the same without you. I might sleep in. I am sure you already know this, but that sweet Jessica made me such a wonderful gift. She brought it over today. It is a picture of the three of us (you, me Daddy) and the poem she wrote, "When the Last Breath Leaves", all typed up and matted and framed. Lukey, it is such a very special gift...she is an amazing little girl. She made us some homemade Gorgas cookies too. Pretty yummy. She takes after her Mom. If you get a free moment, fly by the dining room- it will be hanging in there. You are so very loved. Love, Mommy

Oh, Lukey I do you hope that you are happy. I have had dreams of you before. I am in pain when I think of your mom, or you. Especially you, because I know that it will be a long time before I can see you again. But your mommy is just about the sweetest person that I have ever met. She is in a lot of pain, but still helps others. Please help her Luke. I know that you watch her. I wrote this for you and her. Where the sky Caresses the dawn Your shall linger Whom love is for Your gaze should stay Until the day is done Where dreams lean on the world I know that you'd do anything for your mommy, just do that for her, please. Love, Jessica

I haven't written to you for a while, but I visit you often and think about you every day. I want you to know that your Mom is continuing to be an inspiration to me and so many others. As she told you, she's back to work and everyone is happy to see her again. She did the nicest thing for me the other day....I bet since you are her angel and always watching over her, you already know what is is. Pretty sweet, huh? I know you are busy up there, but if you have any time would you sometimes watch over me too? I could sure use a little "Lukey Love". Good Night sweet boy. xoxox/aunt mjb

Dear Luckey, I missed you! I just got back to Pittsburgh and couldn’t wait to say Hi to you. How are you my little friend? Well, I have to tell you that I’m spending lots of time looking at your pictures. You are very handsome and cute! I think about you every day. I would love to drive up to your house, knock on the door and play with you a little bit. I know you have so much fun but still I miss our Friday time. Love, Love, Krisztina

Hi Lukey...I am missing you, as always. I find myself stopping when I see pictures of you, stopping and just studying them. You were and are so beautiful...I sure would love to see you right now. I sit on the couch and just stare at the beautiful portrait of you. I wonder how you spend your days and who you are with. I think of you constantly. Daddy's school and the middle school are doing their holiday fundraisers for Child Life in your honor!!! Isn't that great! Do you remember all the great things Child Life did for you when you were in the hospital? You got to meet Mickey Mouse, several therapy dogs, you got stuffed animals and met some of the Penguins. We will always treasure the special autographed jersey you got when you were really tiny. I remember the Child Life workers would always come in and ask if you needed anything special, like a mobile or certain toy. They always loaned us nice books to read to you, too. Think of how all the money raised in your name will be able to help all of your friends at the hospital. Someone from the hospital who we got to know really well recently told us that you were truly a part of the "Children's Family". You touched so many people there. You will be sadly missed, but your memory will live on. Jazz emailed me to say how very sorry she was. She LOVED you. Once you got your trach, you weren't allowed to go to the 9th floor anymore. You had to go to the ICU and step down unit. Regina told me the other day that they closed the step down unit, so all kids on vents have to stay in the ICU now. That's no fun! That means they can't go to the CHild Life Playrooms. We are hoping they can use some of the money to buy Luke's Art Carts for the kids confined to the ICU. What do you think? You loved art. You and Krisztina used to make lots of great projects. We have all of your art framed and sitting on the mantle above the fireplace. And the gift you gave us last year, "Snowflakes By Luke", is still hanging in the same place upstairs. That was such a nice surprise on CHristmas Day. Nurse Mandy helped with that one. Do you remember her? She was a great nurse, but quit on us suddenly. That wasn't very nice. Well, little man, I send you big hugs and kisses and ask you again, please come and see me in my dreams. I love yoU! Love, Mommy

Hi Lukey, The past few days have been really hard. I miss you so much. I would give anything at all to have you back. I just can't believe you have been gone for a month. I feel such an emptiness and ache for you. I don't want to have Christmas this year without you. You are the only thing I want and I can't have you back, so I dont want anything. I dont want to celebrate or be happy. I just want to hold you and love you. I really have to stop each day and remind myself that I am being selfish by wanting you back. You were very sick and needed to go. It just hurts to live without you. Please visit me Lukey. I feel like I dont have that strong connection with you like I did at first and that scares me. It really kills me to think I have to go the rest of my life without seeing you. I am only 34, so that could, unfortunately, be a long time. I know it isn't about me. I should be thanking God that you are no longer in pain, but it is hard. I love you Luke......please come and visit me soon.....to let me know you are okay, love, Mommy

Hi Buddy - Mommy told you I would be giving you a sports update, and I am happy to tell you it is a good one. Yesterday our Pitt Panthers beat WVU in the Backyard Brawl. It was a scary and frustrating game at times, but we ended up winning 19-15. I had a lot of fun at the game, and I thought of you every time the crowd chanted "P - I - T - T - Let's Go Pitt". You always loved when I would say that cheer with you. Of course, I had to make it as silly as possible, but I loved doing that for you. After that game I came home to listen to our #4 ranked PItt basketball team win a game against Texas Tech. Tonight we beat Washington to win the championship game of the Legends Classic. What a great weekend for Pitt!!!! Last night the Pens lost a close one. I guess they can't win them all. Like I always told you. All that matters is that you always try to do your best and that they did. Tonight, however, they did win. Go Pens! Tomorrow the Steelers play again. I'll let you know how they do. I love you buddy. I wish I could have you here to tell you all of this. I promise I will always tell you what happens in our games no matter what. I love you!!!! Love, Daddy

Precious Lukey, Sunday marks one whole month since you left us. Its hard to believe it has been that long. We received the most precious gift yesterday. Uncle David and Aunt Melanie brought us a beautiful pastel portrait of you based on one of your pictures. It is absolutely gorgeous and is now hanging perfectly above the entertainment center. Everything about it is absolutely perfect, right down to your eyelashes. We saw your friend Amy today. She always did so much for you and took really good care of you (and us). We got to meet her husband and I know you would approve. He is as nice as she is. She misses you, too. I saw Regina today too- from CHP. Lukey, do you think I should get certified as a Child Life Specialist? That way I could help other kids smile. I would first have to do an internship and then take a test. I am really considering it. So many people have given generous donations to the Child Life Dept. at the hospital in your name!!! We are trying to get them to name a room after you. How cool would that be? Have you met my friend Candi's dad? He came to Heaven to join you on Wednesday. I am sure you are showing him around and I hope you guys can take care of each other. Please let Candi know that her Dad is at peace. Grammy Cracker and Pap are coming over tomorrow so I can give Grammy her new bracelet. She is going to love it. We all miss you so much Lukey. Oh, one more thing, I was going through my jewelry box and found a necklace that your Grammy got me when I was very little. It is a little girl on a swing. It instantly made me think of you, up in Heaven, swinging on that swing. I love you Lukey.

Hi Tiny..... words can't tell you how much I am missing you today. Daddy and I decided to stay home alone for the holiday today...we weren't feeling much like being with other people, celebrating what we are thankful for. That sounds terrible because we ARE thankful for many things, especially for having had you in our lives and being given the opportunity to be your parents. We just wish you could be here with us to make the holiday complete. I looked so forward to holidays b/c I knew I would be off work and able to spend all my time with you. I would give anything to have you back. Daddy is going to the Pitt/WVU game tomorrow, so I am sure you will be getting a sports report when he gets home. I havent decided if I am going to be out tomorrow for Black Friday shopping yet- I am not really into the Christmas spirit either...although I have been listening to a lot of carols! I hope and pray everyday that you are okay now. I feel like I let you down, and I am so sorry. I love you so much buggy....I wish you were here. Happy Thanksgiving. Thank you for two wonderful years. Love, Mommy

Luke, I wanted to let you know that I was thinking of you again today. I don't know the words to use that would express how much you are on my mind, but just know that you are. I lit a candle for you today and said a special prayer.

It has been hard for me to write to you because I get very sad when I try. Tonight I will do my best though. I just wish so much that you could still be here for me to talk to and tell stories to. I miss making my ridiculous sounds when I would try to make you smile. I had so much fun playing with you and being silly. When you would smile, it made me feel soooooo good. It was always so important to me that you were happy and I loved more than anything trying to make you happy. I miss that and I really miss you. I know you are in a better place having fun, but I still wish you were here. As I always did each night, I want to update you on the sports world. Our Pens had another awesome win tonight. When Dad turned on the game we were losing 3 zip. But, our amazing Pens scored 5 unanswered goals and we won 5-3. That makes us 8-1-1 in November. I still remember those nights when I would hold you close to the televeision so that you could watch the players move around against the white ice on the screen. You always seemed to love watching hockey. I'll keep you up to date on how they are doing. Our Pitt Panthers are ranked #4 in the nation Bud. How awesome is that. The tough games will come in January. I can't wait to tell you about them. Before I say goodnight, I want to tell you how proud I am to be your Dad and how proud I am of you. There have been so many donations to the Child Live program in your name and this money is going to help so many of your friends at the hospital. You are amazing Buddy! I'll definitely be letting you know more as I learn about how many kids you are helping and how at the hospital. I love you so much Bud! I will write again. Good night Champ! Daddy Loves You! Daddy!

Hey Lukey, I've been thinking about you. I still can't look at your pictures without it making me cry. I feel so often like I just am not able to see you for a couple of weeks because you're in the hospital since that happened a few times before. Then reality sets in and I realize it may be a long time until I see you again. I was so proud of you learning to do all of the things that you did. Remember when I used to tickle your face with the pom-pom to try to make you swat it away? Sometimes you would laugh and sometimes you would look at me as if to say, "Mary Ann, get that thing out of my face!" I miss seeing you, holding you, and hearing your laugh. I miss seeing your various hair styles. I thought that you'd never lose that rooster style you had going on, the hair that defied gravity! Then of course you had your crew cut, very handsome I thought. Well, I just wanted to say hi, I think of you all of the time. I think of you often watching over all of us here, sometimes I think of you watching over some of the other kids that I see too. I'm thinking of you during your Thanksgiving away from home. I know that you're happy there and enjoying yourself. I would love to see your face when you finally had a chance to try some pumpkin pie. I wish that I could have seen that here. Miss and love you bunches, Mary Ann

Good morning sweet little man! I was thinking of you today and wanted to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving - I can picture you sitting on a cloud digging into a big bowl of mashed potatoes and gravy. I miss your belly laugh when you'd bite down on my finger with that big mean tooth you were getting - I hope you get to take it out on some pumpkin pie now - don't forget to put a ton of whip cream on it like your mommy would! Kisses - Amy

Dear Kara and family, I am writing on behalf of my family here in Pittsburgh who have been touched by your story and Lukes brave fight and that in this time he is in every single one of their prayers. My son Seamus was born August 3, 2006 and is the same age. Ever since reading the story in Pittsburgh Post Gazette I have for the past couple of weeks tried to think that if I lost Seamus what someone could possibly tell me that would bring me at ease. And in that time I cannot think of anything. I can however tell you two things I know for certain, Luke was gently taken to god by the very angels that brought him, and although the world is a much lesser place without him, heaven is alot brighter with him. Please don't hesitate to ever contact me. He has and will remain for many years to come in my prayers. Yours Truly, John

How you doing Tiny? I had Daddy download the last set of pictures on the camera yesterday and when I opened them up to Luke, I just broke down. I miss you so much. For a little guy with so many challenges, you smiled more than anyone I have ever known. Right up to the end. My arms ache to hold you. I would do anything in the world to have you back. I'd give the rest of my life to hold you one more day. I am not very excited about spending the upcoming holidays without you. In fact, we aren't even going to do Thanksgiving this year. I have been spending a lot of time sitting by the fire listening to Christmas carols, which is also hard, but it reminds me of you. So anyway, I ordered something like 250 pictures and when they come, I will put them in albums. Grammy Cracker asked for doubles so she can do the same. I dropped her charm bracelet off at the jeweler today to have the locket with you and her bumble bee put on. You are so special. How is Heaven? What are you up to? I just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you, every minute, and missing and loving you. Good night Tiny.

Luke, You will always be loved. You may have left this world, but will never have left from our hearts. Your presence is near those who love you. Gone is not to describe where you have went. You will never actually leave. In our memories you are bright and strong. Thank you for giving me those memories, Elena