I think Shangla's 49th day falling on Buddha's Day was another good sign for an Auspicious "send off". Although the 49 days are over, our feelings of loss will never be over and so to help cope with our grief and mourning, I thought the following article from the "Bardo Thodol" is a good one to read.
*From the Bardo Thodol (re: grief)
Tibetan Buddhist practices for resolving grief start by accepting the reality of grief. Grief does not disappear in a day or in a week, months or even years. It takes time for grief to dissolve into solace. Taking refuge in the Three Jewels (the Buddha,the Dharma,and theSangha(Community)is the primary faith practice, preceding all other devotional and meditative practices. Taking refuge allows the mourner to face grief and find solace within a spiritual community. Various techniques include a final visualization within the ritual practice that imagines saying a loving farewell to the deceased with the whole mind and heart and then imagining the deceased person turning and leaving. Not only does this spiritual assist the living, but it also provides freedom for the deceased to continue the bardo journey.
The suffering in grief is not repressed or denied but accepted and transformed into motivational energy for spiritual practice. Suffering motivated the Buddha to seek liberation. From a Tibetan Buddhist perspective, grief can be an opportunity for an individual to examine his or her own life and find meaning in it. Grief teaches one about compassion and can provide the motivation to engage in spiritual practices.
Sadness differs from the more problematic emotions in grief that signify attachment and thus the failure to fully recognize the Buddhist truth that all life is suffering (dukkhah). Although sadness among theYolmos and other Tibetan Buddhists includes the experience of the physical separation from death, it recognizes the impermanence of life. The difference is portrayed in the story of Kisa Gotami. When she realized that finding a
mustard seed from a household untouched by death was impossible, she felt her sadness and let go of her son.
Tibetans never forget the deceased loved one. They customarily hold prayers on the death anniversaries of relatives. They realize the final goal of both the living and the bardo voyagers is liberated existence. Prayers are offered for the deceased and for their rebirth. Taking refuge in the Three Jewels or in awakened spiritual beings generates an imaginative realm of compassion and wisdom. Tibetan Buddhists believe that if one does not have compassion for others, including the deceased, one will never know the luminous nature of one's own mind.
Years after a loved one's death, relatives remember the anniversary of the death with food offerings and rituals. Monks or lamas are hired to chant rituals. The families believe that their own efforts and the efficacious performance of the Bardo thodol by the lama have resulted in the favorable rebirth of the deceased. Anniversary rituals become an occasion to celebrate the rebirth of the deceased, and the surviving family continues a relationship with the deceased, now either reborn or an awakened being, by generating merit. It is merit shared with the deceased, who may or may not have need of such merit. Such spiritual practices become meritorious for oneself as well. Thus, the transmutation of problematic feelings into compassionate assistance of the deceased continues the path of self-discovery of the luminous mind. While continued sadness is transferred into continual recognition of the importance of life, self-actualization and discovery happen through assisting the deceased.
Conclusion:
The Bardo thodol affirms spiritual direction for the deceased and for the living. The bardo practice for the Tibetans is a method for transcending both death and grief. At death, the deceased loses everything that was once real. The fear and yearning associated with grief bring the deceased into the negative karmic continuum that will lead to a less than favorable rebirth. The spiritual director attempts to guide the deceased into cutting attachment to the physical world and embracing the expansiveness of devotion and compassion. The Bardo thodol helps the living to resolve their grief by focusing on their providing spiritual assistance to the deceased. Grief becomes reinvested in compassionate acts for the benefit of the deceased. In the process of compassionate outreach for the deceased loved one,survivors discover the meaning of the impossible conditions of self-permanence. They learn what Kisa Gotami did, that there is no mustard seed to be gathered,that every household is touched by death,and that all existence is impermanent.
Just want to say Thanks to Dachen, Nuddy, Deke and Lobsang for the updates on 49th prayers held everywhere. With all these simultaneous prayers being said all over by all of shangla's famiy everywhere and also the auspicous days that these prayers fall on, I am confident that they have and are being heard a million fold wherever shangla is being born and will continue to help him as he begins a new journey. So keep on praying whenever, wherever cos there's no limit or quota when it comes to prayers.
I cut my hair recently in memory of Popo Gandenla. He had told me in his last visit that I would look better if I had short hair (which I do) and I had intended to cut it, but had to wait for it to grow long enough to qualify for 'Locks of Love' donation for cancer patients. I wish he could see it right now. I heard from Somo Lungrela that in Nepal, sons shave their heads for the mourning period. I couldn't go that far, but I did what I could to dedicate it for Pola.
How sweet and sentimental of you Chukyi! It's great that you could even think of doing something as personal as that in Shangla's honor and also doubly nice that you donated your hair to Locks of Love. And I am sure that in one way or another, shangla does know about this sweet gesture of yours. So thanks for sharing that w/ all of us.
Hi Chukyi..I agree with everything Sonam said...your haircut dedication to Po Gandenla will for sure create good merits both for his new life as well as for you and for whoever is the recipient of your "locks of love" too. I sure wouldn't want to see you go completely bald though! Thanks again for being a "sharing and caring" kind of girl.
That was a really nice gesture, Chukyi, and I agree that short hair does look good on you. Also, I think that donating your hair to cancer patients is the best thing that you could do, because it will help someone to keep a sense of normalcy throughout their cancer treatment. It's still very difficult to think about Popo Gandenla's passing, but there is some comfort in reading everyone's fond memories of him, too. I'm glad that you had some time to get to know him and enjoy his sense of humor, and am touched that you wanted to dedicate your hair cut to him, and then donate it to such a worthy cause. I'm sure that Popo Gandenla would be happy and proud of your gesture.
Last night we had 49th day prayers for Shangla at the Tsengdok Monastery in Vancouver. It was just Lobsang Tenzinla, Tsewangla, TC-la, Tenzin, Maya and me. Tsengdok Rinpoche was out of town but a Gending (sp?) Rinpoche led the prayers, along with Lama Zopa. The monastery wasn't available to do it in the morning, so we had to do it at 5:30pm. It's a fairly new Gelug monastery where the local Tibetans go often 'cause it's the only one that has really gone out of its way to include Tibetans.
I was planning to print a big photo of Shangla and take it along, but I completely forgot 'cause we've all been really sick with a bad flu. I also forgot to take my rosary. Afterwards, we came back to our house to have some delicious soup that Lobsang Tenzinla made with some Chinese food that Tsewangla brought.
Deke
I'm glad you all were able to gather together as well at the Monastery in Vancouver. All of Shangla's family and relatives have done whatever we knew how to do and I know that all of our collective prayers will continue to help Shangla in his new rebirth as well as accumulate merit for our own selves. (You don't need a rosary to pray - so it doesn't matter that you forgot to take it along). No matter how much time passes by, we should always still recite at least "Om Mani Padme Hun" and dedicate it for all of our deceased loved ones as well as for all of us living people. Hope you're all feeling better.
We requested three monks from the Nalanda West gonpa to join us in our prayers dedicated to our beloved Shangla. Geleg, Chunila & Ceon (Shang Geshela's indian dharma friend) joined us. Our prayers are with Shangla and all the family members on this very important day. Right after our prayer session, the sun auspiciously came out around noon...it had been raining all morning!
(Thanks Geleg and Chunila for helping prepare that delicious vegetarian lunch for the monks).
Oddly enough (because Kundun divination for Shangla's 'tungtha' to be Buddha) today also happens to be a new moon, Shakyamuni Buddha Day--Day Tibetan Buddhists meditate on the Buddha's teachings and strive to fulfill the Precepts. [Shakyamuni Mantra: Om Muni Muni Mahamuni Shakyamuni Svaha] [a/k/a Siddhartha Buddha Day, 30th Tibetan day, New Moon day]
NEW MOON REMINDER... Tuesday, February 24, 8:36 pm - EST is the New Moon Power Day in February! Don’t miss this opportunity to make wishes for experiences you’d like to have.
Because this New Moon is in the sign of PISCES, it’s a powerful time for new beginnings in feeling more loving and taking steps to release any self-destructive habits of addiction. Progress you may have wanted to happen in your life for a long time can begin easily manifesting through using the boost of this powerfully trusting New Moon. PISCES opens in us an awareness of using the strength of connecting with a Higher Power to help wishes in coming true.
For success, your wishes must be handwritten on paper and ten wishes maximum are allowed on each power day. The most potent time is the first 8 hours AFTER the exact time of the New Moon; within the first 48 hours will still work. The potency continues to exist for another twelve hours, but is weaker. For clear success, it’s best to avoid wishing during those hours when the Moon is Void of Course. Therefore in February, your most potent times for wishing are: Tuesday, February 24: 8:36 pm - midnight; Wednesday, February 25: clear all day and all night; Thursday, February 26: 12:00 am - 1:08 am & 4:24 pm - midnight. These times are Eastern Standard Time and need to be converted to your local time zone. Among other things, this New Moon stimulates the ability to more successfully navigate your life by understanding and forgiving, seeing that we are all doing the best we can.
(Just 6 hours and 40 minutes till we say good-bye to this awful year!!! )
My wish and prayer is for our Beloved Shangla to have a quick and good rebirth.
Om Muni Muni Mahamuni Shakyamuni Svaha!
49th day Dhuentzi in Calgary.. I'm glad you were able to get the Nalanda monks to come to your house to do prayers; Also,when prayers are said by family and relatives together, they are supposed to be more effective - so I'm glad that you all and Chunila and GelegWla were able to gather in one place today. Since I'm still off work, I went over to Amala's in the morning and we recited our prayers from 9:30 to 2pm and then after work, the others came and we had another prayer session. We've been gathering this way at Amala's every Dhuentzi day - so all our collective prayers will help Shangla in his next rebirth as well as benefit each one of us. My prayers are dedicated to Shangla's soul for a good rebirth and I also pray that the rest of us will have a much better new year. Below is part of Kundun's Losar message to Tibetans all over. "Therefore, since they faced immense difficulties and sufferings, the occasion of this New Year is certainly not a period when we can have the usual celebrations and gaiety. I admire the determined move by Tibetans, inside and outside of Tibet, not to indulge in celebratory activities during this New Year. Instead, everyone should utilize this period in abandoning non-virtuous acts and engaging in positive actions, thereby cultivating virtuous merits so that all those who sacrificed their lives for the cause of Tibet, including those who lost their lives in the tragic events of the past year, may have quick realization of Buddhahood through successive rebirth in higher realms. The dedication should also go to those currently undergoing suffering so that they may immediately be able to enjoy the happiness of freedom. Through such an accumulation of collective merits we should all strive for an early solution to the just cause of Tibet."
Thanks Dachen for the update on your very special gathering today for the 49th day and also for letting us know of all the auspicous times for our prayers to flourish. It is comforting to know that we all gathered in our respective areas to simultaneously say our heartfelt prayers and for it to be on a new moon is doubly special. As Nuddy wrote, we too had a very special prayer session this morning and night too. And in a way I'm going to miss our Tuesday morning and night gatherings, although we're all going to be reflecting and praying on our own in the days to come, there is something very special about gathering together physically and praying w/ those you love, so I will miss that. I will never take time w/ loved ones for granted ever again.
TORONTO PRAYER IN TORONTO ON THE 49th DAY Bhutila held a prayer session from 9AM to 3:30 PM at their house with Lhama Sonam and 3 monks. Gawa's family, shadup's family, Tenzin Dolma, Lobsang Ngodupla's family, and some new Tibetans were there. After the session, we gave Lhama Sonam and the monks a ride back to their Chotzo.
Prayer to Lord Buddha:
Into Lord Buddha's hands,
We humbly entrust our beloved Uncle/Father/Husband/Grandfather/Brother/Friend
In this life you embraced him with your compassion;
Let him enter eternal rest.
The old order has passed away,
Welcome him into Dewaachen,
Where there will be no sorrow or pain,
But only the fullness of peace and joy
May all of our collective prayers help our loved one have a good and happy Rebirth.
Shangla has set an example for all of us to follow - to live life in the moment and live life to the fullest, to have a sense of humor about everything, to be humble and be satisfied with whatever you have, to be forgiving; to be kind in words and in action and to just live and let live, to be honest, and he was faithful to his family to the end. In short, Shangla was a genuinely warm soul - someone that everyone whose lives he touched will miss greatly!
Although Shangla was taken from us way too early, I know that we'll always be connected to him because our relationship with him will never end.
We will always have our memories of happy times with Shangla to draw upon whenever he comes to mind. "We are as near you as you are near us"
"Death is Nothing At All" ( by Henry Scott Holland)
Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away into the next room,
I am I and you are you,
Whatever we were to each other, that we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name,
Speak to me in the easy way which you always used,
Put no difference in your tone,
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow,
Laugh as we always laughed,
At the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect,
Without the trace of a shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant,
It is the same that it ever was.
There is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind,
Because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval,
Somewhere very near,
Just around the corner, all is well.
Thanks nuddy, that's a really nice poem by Henry Holland. I think It really epitomizes what shangla would say to us ... it really does seem like shangla has only stepped into the next room. I agree w/ the poem wholeheartedly. We all spoke his name before w/ love and humour and I don't see why we still can't do that. So funny, wise, caring, generous and sometimes exasperating shangla, we will miss you tremendously and will speak your name with as much abundance as we ever have.
Shangla's passing although so sad, has given us living ones, a strengthened and renewed sense of "now" -- live life, enjoy life.
And as according to our Buddhist beliefs, in saying that any moment could be our last might seem morbid but It's real, and we need to accept and be ever ready for our own time to leave this life. This Story makes you think a lot about life.
Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva speaks to the Buddha
(Benefits for the deceased and existing beings)
At that time, Bodhisattva Kishitigarbha, Mahasattva, said to Buddha, "World-Honored One, I have observed sins of thought or action from everyone in all the worlds. Even though they do a few good deeds their kind hearts soon regress. If they fall into a bad circumstance, their evil thoughts will continue. It is as if these people are walking in mud carrying a heavy stone on their shoulders. The longer they walk, the harder they step. Their feet sink in mud and they cannot get themselves out. If they meet a knowledgeable person who can carry some or all the stones for them, this knowledgeable person has great power to help and persuade them not to go any further. After they arrive at a smooth plain, the knowledgeable one soon teaches them how to examine themselves and not to go through the mud again.
“World-Honored One, the minor offences accumulate into major ones. Since most of these people have such bad habits, in order to help them to be reborn into a better life, their parents or relatives should make offerings for them after they pass away. They can hang pennants, light oil lamps or make statues of Buddha or Bodhisattva. They can also recite the sutras or the names of the Buddha and Bodhisattva. They should make sure that they keep every single word deep in their minds. Though these beings have fallen into evil karma, their criminal offences can be eliminated by making offerings in their name by their family or relatives. If their family or relatives can do many good deeds, the deceased can avoid evil forever and be reborn in heaven or as a human and enjoy wonderful happiness. In addition, the people who promote benefits for the deceased can also obtain endless merits.
"Thus, now, in front of the Buddha, World-Honored One, gods, dragons and all others, both human and non-human, I urge all beings in all worlds not to offer sacrifices to the spirits of deceased persons by killing creatures or calling on ghosts or spirits. Why? Because offering sacrifices by killing has not the slightest merit for the deceased persons at all. On the contrary, it will increase their burden, because their relatives make more offences for the deceased. The deceased person's spirit has to defend itself against the spirits of the sacrificed creatures. This might risk the rebirth of that person in heaven or the human world. Not to mention the deceased who, while he was alive had few merits, and thus according to his karma, has to suffer pains in the evil level. How could his relatives increase his karma?
"For example, it's like a person who has eaten nothing for three days and is carrying baggage which weighs more than one hundred kilograms. Unexpectedly, his neighbor asks him to bring some extra things for him. Now his burden is heavier than before. World-Honored One, I have observed that as long as beings in all the worlds do good deeds for Buddhadharma, no matter as small as a hair, a drop of water, a grain of sand or a speck of dust, they will obtain all merits themselves."
While these words were being spoken, there was an elder named Great Eloquence who has advocated the Dharma since long ago, cultivates all beings from the Ten Directions, and is always incarnated as an elder. He placed both hands together with reverence, then asked Bodhisattva Kishitigarbha, "Mahasattva, after those beings in all the worlds have died and their relatives do good deeds for them, offer vegetarian foods or plant all kinds of good things, can the deceased obtain merits and be released from pain and suffering?"
Kishitigarbha answered, "Now, by Buddha's power, I will explain this in general. Elder, if those beings today or in the future hear a name of Buddha or a Bodhisattva on the day they die, no matter whether they are guilty or not, they can be released from suffering. If anyone does many evil deeds while alive and his or her relatives do good deeds for them after their death, the deceased will receive a seventh part of the relative's merit. The remaining merits belong to his or her relatives. If good people today and in the future can promote goodness by themselves, they can obtain every merit.
"After death the Great Ghost of Impermanence will take the spirit of the deceased away without warning. At that time, nobody knows whether the spirit's future is good or bad. During the first forty-nine days after death, he will be judged in a court arguing his karmic retribution. He will not be reborn until the trial. Before the trial in hell, the deceased has already felt distress, not to speak of suffering in the evil level. The deceased longs for help from his children or relatives during these forty-nine days. After forty-nine days, he will follow his own karmic retributions and suffer. These kinds of criminal persons usually cannot be released for hundreds or thousands of years. If the being has ever committed one of Five Endless Offences, he or she will fall into Endless Hell and suffer all kinds of pain for an indefinite time.
"Moreover, elder, if beings with such karma die, the relatives can make offerings. Their relatives should prepare or eat vegetarian food and not throw rice-water or vegetable leaves on the ground. They should not even eat before offering it to Buddha and the monks. If they waste the food, eat before offering it or are too lazy to learn about Dharma, the deceased will obtain no merits at all. If their relatives are diligent and are reverently devoted to Buddha and the Sangha, the deceased will receive a seventh part of the merit. Therefore, elder, if those beings in all the worlds can honestly and reverently offer vegetarian food to the Three Treasures after their parents or relatives die, both the living and the deceased can obtain all the merits."
While Bodhisattva Kishitigarbha spoke these words, millions of ghosts and gods in Trayastrimsa Heaven Palace from all the worlds made endless requests for helping the suffering. And the elder Great Eloquence bowed and withdrew.
BTW, I was wondering what the yellowish tinge on shangla's leg meant cos in my dream I seemed to know that it meant something but didn't know in waking life. Anyway Dachen said that somola said that yellow on the feet means that the person has died. Strange thing is I never knew that sort of symbolism but it happened to turn up in my dream. So I think that the dream was making it clear to me that he has indeed passed away even though he appeared to be so real to me in it but that him turning into the baby means he's already taken rebirth and a good one too.. At first I thought I had that dream just because I have been thinking of shangla so much and praying for his good rebirth but now because of symbols that I knew nothing about popping up in the dream makes me think it's much more than mere wishing on my part. Like Dachen said to me, shangla always did say that life was really just a dream and how appropriate that info like that came up in a dream. How else but in a dream can such things be communicated to us here anyway, so it's completely appropriate and I'm totally satisfied now.
Had a strange dream last night. As far as dreams go it was quite vivid and filled w/ emotion at the time. Woke up suddenly at 4 am and tried to go over it in my mind so I could remember some details. Anyway, I remember nuddy, tsultrim and amala being there peripherelly but main focus was shangla. I was aware of the fact that he'd passed away but at the same time didn't seem alarmed at fact that he was right there, very much alive. It seemed normal in other words although there was an underlying thought that something was about to happen. Not really aware what we were doing but it was like so many times in real-life, when we were just hanging around. Than all of a sudden shangla was going to get up (like he used to do suddenly) but than had to sit down again for some reason. I noticed his legs seemed to have a yellowish tinge that seemed to alert me to something, so I was watching him carefully. Than I felt the need to pick him up, sort of like a baby and that's when he actually turned into a baby. I didn't seem to be alarmed at this change and was aware that it was still shangla. Now I was holding him as the baby and I knew somehow that the baby wanted to or had to reach that picure of Jetsun Dolma (exact one that's hanging in our family room). So I took the picure down and held it down to the baby's head. I seemed to know that I should do that. I was watching from above the picture and it was see-thru so I could see the baby touching his head to the picture. Baby had a very intense look on it's face w/ eyes closed and like he was praying very intently. I was touched by that look and tried telling Nuddy who was standing at doorway of kitchen to come quickly and look. Nuddy kept gesturing back instead of coming over so I was getting quite agitated. I tried frantically to call her again but my voice was very hoarse and words wouldn't come out clearly, so I was quite frustrated...that's when I woke up. Anyway, as dreams are, it's so hard to relay in words the significance of what you felt in middle of the dream and ends up sounding so opaque, but at the time it was very real. But what I got from it was that shangla has already taken rebirth, which the baby signified in the dream and the fact that Jetsun Dolma was a factor in dream might mean that it's a good rebirth.
Hi Sonam, What a wonderful, auspicious sign that Shangla's in a safe place (with the protection of Jetsun Dolma) and well into his path to a good rebirth! I too had a dream of a baby but of course not as vivid as yours nor was I sure if it was even Shangla but it seemed odd to be suddenly be dreaming of a baby--which was why 2 weeks ago I had asked you guys if you had any dreams of a baby. Both Amala and Shangla were so endeared by your dream and know that out of any of us...you would for sure be the one to be given a good sign for the well being of Shangla. We miss him terribly so thanks for sharing your dream it was very comforting.
Thanks for sharing your good dream-Sonam; I would say that Shangla is telling all of us that he has already taken a good rebirth and is in Jetsun Dolma's care ...and for all of us not to be worried for and about him anymore. I was already convinced of that though -so your dream is proof of that. Because we've all been sending Shangla our thoughts of love, I know that he "knows" how much we all will miss him and wish only the best for him in his next life, so by appearing in your dream, he's letting us know that he's ok and in a good place now. When you mentioned carrying Shangla in your arms as a baby, it just made me remember one time in Cobourg, when Shangla had come over to our house for dinner or something and he suddenly picked me up and pretended that I was a baby and carried me around the living and dining room for a few mins! He sure had a way of livening things up and making everybody laugh. Shangla's absence is going to really be felt at all our gatherings. (Btw, sorry if I caused any frustration in your dream but I'm sure that it was because my broken leg wasn't "moving" and not because I didn't want to come over to take a look).
Well I'm glad I dreamt that and w/ dachen's baby dream and mine, it does seem more than just coincidence. And nuddy, you're forgiven for making me so frustrated but as you say, your seeming inability in coming over does probably signify your mobility problem w/ broken leg et al and my frustration in the dream might be actually my own frustration at knowing in the dream that something important was really happening but also knowing that upon waking up I might not be able to take that significance into waking reality, that's why I tried going over it when I woke up at 4 cos otherwise I would fall asleep again I wouldn't remember much at all the next morning. With dreams there's so much symbolism playing out and it's hard to connect things but it was clear knowing in the dream that the baby was shangla. I wonder what the yellow tinge means?
I'm more than convinced that Shangla wants us all to be reassured that he's not in a limbo state - especially since taking rebirth by the 49th day is crucial...so he just doesn't want us to have any doubts about that. And with Jetsun Dolma playing such a big part in your dream, it means that he will be taken care of forever. We hand over our Shangla into Lord Buddha's hands and in Jetsun Dolma's care. "Om Mani Padme Hun"
Our prayer for Shangla's Good Rebirth and for entry into the PureLand -Dewachen Buddha Amitabha's Mantra:
"Om Amidewa Hriih"
Guru Rimpoche's name mantra:
"Om Aah Hum Vajra Guru Padma Siddhi Hum"
Prayer to be Reborn in Dewachen (Amitabha Buddha realm)
We prostrate to Buddha Amitabha.
We pray to Uddiyana Pemakara (Guru Rinpoche).
Gracious root guru, hold Shangla with your compassion. Lamas of the root lineage, guide Shangla on the path. Bless Shangla to master the profound path of phowa. By the swift path of phowa, may Shangla journey to the celestial realm. Bless Shangla to be born in the Land of Bliss, Dewachen.
Brief Prayer to be Reborn
In the Blissful Pure Land of Amitabha
(Recite three times)
Eh Ma Ho!
In the center is the marvelous Buddha Amitabha of Boundless Light,
On the right side is the Lord of Great Compassion (Chenrezig)
And on the left is Vajrapani, the Lord of Powerful Means.
All are surrounded by limitless Buddhas and Bodhisattvas.
Immeasurable peace and happiness is the blissful pureland of Dewachen.
As all beings pass from samsara,
May he be born there without taking samsaric rebirth.
May he have the blessing of meeting Amitabha face to face.
By the power and blessings of the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas
of the ten directions,
May he attain this aspiration without hindrance.
WE ALL RECITE THE BARDO PRAYER OF BECOMING FOR SHANGLA'S SOUL; WE ALL SEND OUR THOUGHTS OF LOVE TO HIM.
I found this on the internet written by a Swami about the power of prayers said by relatives and close friends.
The prayers, good thoughts or good wishes are extremely helpful to the departed soul. Prayers and good thoughts can be of invaluable assistance to the deceased loved one.
Prayer acts on the principle of a radio station and broadcasts the waves of good thoughts just as the radio station broadcasts waves of sound.
Prayer is a mighty force which helps the departed souls in their progress towards heaven and their quiet passage through the intermediate state.
The departed soul remains in a state of swoon or unconsciousness immediately after death. They cannot feel that they are detached from their previous gross material bodies.
Prayers and good thoughts from the relatives and friends can give real solace to the departed souls. They create a potent vibration and an awakening in their stupefied condition of mind and bring back their veiled consciousness. The souls begin to realize that they are not really in their gross material bodies.
Then they endeavour to cross the borderland, a narrow river of ether, which is known as Vaitarani by the Hindus, Chinavat bridge by the Parsis and Sirat by the Muslims
(I'm sure this would most likely be similiar to "Bardo")
The weeping and mourning and the uncontrolled grief of their relatives gives the deceased pains and drag them down from their astral planes. This may seriously retard them on their way to the heaven-world as well as harming them. When they are sinking peacefully and when they are ready to have glorious awakening in heaven, they are aroused into vivid remembrance of the mundane life by the weeping and wailing of their friends and relatives. Their thoughts produce similar vibrations in their minds and produce acute pain and discomfort.
Therefore, relatives and friends should do prayers for the peace of the departed souls. Then only they can really help and comfort them. If as many family members can sit together and recite prayers and send good thoughts to their loved one who has passd away , it will be decidedly more powerful and effective. Collective prayer by close relatives and friends have tremendous influence.
"हम सब अ॥प को हमेश। य॥द करे॑गे! !" Our thoughts are with you in your journey to rebirth...
When, through intense propensities, we are wandering in the Sangsara,
Along the bright light-path of the simultaneously-born Wisdom,
May the heroic Knowledge-Holders lead us,
May the bands of the Mothers, the Dakinis, be our rear guard.
May we be saved from the fearful narrow passageway of the Bardo,
May we be placed in the state of the perfect Buddhahood.
May the ethereal elements not rise up as enemies;
May it come that we shall see the realm of the Blue Buddha.
May the earthy elements not rise up as enemies;
May it come that we shall see the realm of the Yellow Buddha.
May the fiery elements not rise up as enemies;
May it come that we shall see the Realm of the Red Buddha.
May the airy elements not rise up as enemies;
May it come that we shall see the Realm of the Green Buddha.
May the elements of the rainbow colors not rise up as enemies;
May it come that all the Realms of the Buddhas will be seen.
May it come that all Sounds will be known as one's own sounds;
May it come that all the Radiances will be known as one's own radiances;
May it come that the Trikaya will be realized in the Bardo.
"And there is a very good reason to 'be prepared for death'', as His Holiness The Dalai Lama explains:
"From a Buddhist point of view, the actual experience of death is very important. Although how or where we will be reborn is generally dependent on karmic forces, our state of mind at the time of death can influence the quality of our next rebirth. So at the moment of death, in spite of the great variety of karmas we have accumulated, if we make a special effort to generate a virtuous state of mind, we may strengthen and activate a virtuous karma, and so bring about a happy rebirth."
We know that Shangla will have a good and happy rebirth because he always had a good state of mind; He always treated everyone equally well and he never intentionally harmed anyone; He always was pure in his thoughts and actions towards all of us.
We are all poorer in his absence but at the same time, we all gained a lot too from having had Shangla in our lives.
We say the "Bardo Prayer Of Becoming" for Shangla's soul and we recite countless "Om Mani Padme Hun".
Shangla - As you leave this world yet again this week- on this very day, we say this again to you: "Nothing is ever lost. We will meet again, we pray, in better circumstances. Say good-bye to this world, your friends and family. Let the love of your friends and family guide you to a better rebirth".
We will forever miss having Shangla in our lives!
*Neten Rimpoche said that it's important to know that on each "Dhuentzi Day", the deceased one "dies" all over again and so even though Shangla has undoubtedly taken a good rebirth already, we still need to say all the prayers for his soul and to continue to send our thoughts of love to him.
Once in awhile, a person enters a life and changes it forever. For many of us, that person is our Po Gandenla. He made me laugh, cry, and encouraged me to take a chance and try new things (he taught me to play Soduko, which I now love to play). And sadly now, he has helped me realize how precious and short life is and to enjoy it to the fullest. He has set an example for all of us to be our best and inspire others. I can only hope I will make as much a difference as he did for me. Pola showed me that it's okay to be goofy and make fun of yourself, like the time when he rode my tricycle. He also taught me to look at different points of view and not judge anyone until you've walked in their shoes. It's in these little moments that he will live in my memory forever. But even though the memories of Po Gandenla are limited, he has left a very deep mark in my heart. For every moment that passes, I cannot express how much I would have wanted to say to him, "Thank you for everything you've done for me". My heart will always beat for Pola. I will forever miss you. -Chukyi
Chukyi- that's a beautiful and touching tribute to your Pola; I remember your Po Gandenla mentioned to me once about what a good girl you've grown up to be - so you should know that he was proud of you. And what a fitting name you picked -because Jedi Knights are wise and are considered to be "guardians of peace in the galaxy" ..almost like "boddhisatvas" and that for sure describes your Pola (our Shangla). Thanks for sharing your memories. We all share in your sadness. (Love, Somo Lungre)
Like nuddy says, how beautiful and touching a tribute you've written and how wise for you to realize and to articulate in such a deep way, especially considering your age but I always knew you were an old soul. You say your memories of Po Gandenla are limited but quantity doesn't necessarily mean quality, and even though in this space and time you only knew him for a short time, I'm sure you've known him many times before and will again have the chance to have fun w/ him. Thanks for your memories.
Countless "Om Mani Padme Hun"and countless prayers for Shangla from all of us.
As much as we don't want to say "goodbye" to you, we know we have to let you go into your next good re-birth. We wish for you the most peaceful and happiest next life. We say the "Prayer of The Bardo Of Becoming" for you as you journey into another life.
You'll always be in our thoughts and memories; We will never forget you.
Our lives were better because we had you as our Uncle.
I just remembered I have this page that I found at Kungoe Lhalungpa's home when we went there for his funeral. It's something that he must have used for a friend who died. It's a prayer "taken from the Bardo Thodrol and can be useful when facing the death of a loved one or after they have passed on in order to encourage an easy transition and a better rebirth. This prayer should be repeated along with other recitations during the 49 days following the death." It goes like this...
Oh, Gandenla, do not be afraid of what surrounds you. Recognize all appearances to be a manifestation of your own luminous mind.
Your life in this existence is over. Do not be afraid to leave and continue on. Now is not the time for regrets or to recapture that which has been left behind. Your friends and family are saying good-bye, so that you may find peace and calm in a new existence.
Do not cling to the memory of this life which is fraught with suffering. The body which you inhabited will be no more. With a mind calm and free of fear, enter a state of happiness in a new embodiment.
Recognize that all appearances you experience whether frightful or serene are the nature of your own basic luminosity. Do not cling to illusion, for it is illusion which surrounds you at this time.
Nothing is ever lost. We will meet again, we pray, in better circumstances. Say good-bye to this world, your friends and family. Let the love of your friends and family guide you to a better rebirth.
Concentrate on all that surrounds you as the play of emptiness and awareness. Without clinging to this life, or fear of what is to come, enter into the light, which is the basic wisdom and clarity of your own mind.
Thanks Deke- for that prayer; as hard as it is to say those words of "goodbye" to Shangla without tears rolling down, I'm going to read those lines everytime we say prayers. I know though that Shangla will not see anything frightening or be stuck with any illusions during his "journey" into his next life - simply because of his "goodness" in how he treated family and friends and in the simple and uncomplicated way he looked at life. It's going to be extremely hard to go through a summer w/out having Shangla come and visit us but all of our memories of him will remain vividly in our hearts for as long as we live. And as more and more of his friends come to learn of his passing, we hear about how well respected he was and also how much they're all going to miss him too. Shangla was loved by so many people; And "we" were the fortunate ones to have had him as our beloved Uncle. I know that Shangla knew how much he meant to each one of us and we send our heartfelt good wishes and love to him for his next life.
yea thanks deke, this is a good one and easy to read and understand cos sometimes these things are too archaic. It sortof reminds me of dreaming cos I read somewhere that when you realize that you're dreaming you can become fully conscious in the dream state and even manipulate outcome of dreams through understanding that it's a dream. I've had one or two times where I came semi close to knowing that I was dreaming and even told myself that it's a dream. they say that if you are able to do that than it's easier when you die cos dream landscape is very similar to environment when you die. So in a way, it makes it less scary and unknown.
"Om Mani Padme Hun" ; "Om Ami Dewa Hrih"
The Tibetan book of the Dead says that 'The most powerful time to do spiritual practice for someone who has passed away is during the 49 days of the bardo of becoming; It says we should place special emphasis on the first 21 days (which is today - Jan 27th). It says that during these first 3 wks, the deceased person has a stronger link with this life, which makes them more accessible to our help. So our prayers and good thoughts during this period has a far greater possibility of influencing their future, and of affecting their chances for liberation, or at least rebirth. The book says we should do whatever we can to help the deceased person then, "as after the physical form of their next existence begins gradually to be determined- and this is said to happen between the 21st and 49th day after death - the chance for real change is very much more limited". However, help for the deceased, however, isn't confined to the 49 days after death. The book says it's never too late to help someone who has died, no matter how long ago it was; It says that the person you want to help may have been passed away a long time ago, but our earnest prayers now will still be of benefit for them. "Dudjum Rimpoche used to say that even if someone has gained enlightenmemt and become a Buddha, they will still need all the assistance they can possibly get in their work of helping others".
The book also says if you really have a good heart, and really mean well, and then pray for someone, that prayer will be very effective. "So you can be confident that if someone you love very much has died, and you pray for them with true love and sincerity, your prayer will be exceptionally powerful". Another thing that is so simple to do is whenever you think of the person who has passed away, is to say immediately "Om Mani Padme Hun" the mantra of the Buddha of Compassion which purifies each of the negative emotions that are the case of rebirth, and you can also recite this; "Om Ami Dewa Hrih", which is the mantra of the Buddha Amitabha, The Buddha of Limitless Light. "But whether you do any of these or not - to help your loved one who has died, don't ever forget that the conciousness in the bardo is acutely clairvoyant" - so the least you can do is to simply direct good thoughts toward your loved one who has passed. As well, when you're praying for your loved one, you can at the same time, extend your prayer to benefit other family members who have passed away in the past and to all sentient beings as well.
I pray that Shangla will have a really good rebirth and that he will soon find himself in "Dewaachen Ki Shingum". We'll always think of and remember Shangla in our hearts forever.
"Om Mani Padme Hun"; "Om Ami Dewa Hrih".
Thanks Nuddy for putting the prayers up on the front page because your comment was hidden in the video comment section. I wish there was a way to click somewhere on this front page to spin a prayer wheel as Sonam suggested but this site has limited options and doesn't facilitate a flash file. I uploaded a few nice videos but couldn't put an icon/image on but hope you all can view them. 'Om Mani Padme Hum; "Om Ami Dewa Hrih" (our earnest prayers) -Dachen
Om Mani Padme Hum Om Mani Padme Hum Om Mani Padme Hum Om Mani Padme Hum Om Mani Padme Hum Om Mani Padme Hum Om Mani Padme Hum
Yea thanks for putting that reminder up cos it's not only timely but shows that our prayers are always important to our loved ones who've gone on and to those still living and ourselves as well. Shangla who was always so generous has once again shown his generosity by making us all aware of spirituality and the importance of living a meaningful life while on this earth and never taking things for granted. Thank you once again Shangla.
Here shangla looks sortof like both Jigme and gawa.
shangla looks like gawa here. dachen looks like chukyi
Popola's style was ahead of the curve here, just look at how he wore the pleats and the vest.
Both Shangla's - busy doing their own thing.
3 tea drinkers out on the town (at Eau Claire Market, Princes Island)
We took Shangla to Spruce Meadows - where they have annual show horse races.
This was at Spruce Meadows (show horses)
Resting in Devonian Garden
Lungre
15 years agoI think Shangla has had a very "grand" send off in a way because even though we couldn't all be together in one city, we sure were "together" for all the Dhuentzi prayers. Shangla also had relatives and friends in India and Tibet say prayers and light choemis for his good rebirth...so all our good thoughts of love and prayers for his new life will for sure work. And like Sonam says, we can continue to say prayers whenever and wherever - to help Shangla in his new life as well as to help the rest of us too. We'll always miss Shangla's physical self immensely but he's never going to be out of our minds -ever.