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Shangla - in a hurry to go out for a smoke.
I will always remember and appreciate how much help shangla was to amala. whenever she had problems or worries, just speaking to shangla would cheer her up and she would see the problem in a different light. He had the amazing ability to really be able to listen and than console and make whatever issue or problem into something we could laugh at a little and just that would lift you up. He was the youngest one and it was beautiful to see how much he meant to all the older siblings and it was obvious that he knew that cos he could get away with saying things and poking fun at them with relish. He had a great knack for imitating people and he sure had fun poking fun at all his siblings and had us all laughing so hard cos it was so uncanny and nailed them to a T. I sure will miss those moments.
Yeah, I agree that Shangla was the only one who could cheer Amala up because we could say the same thing but the way he'd say it just always was funnier; He was the only one who could say it in a way that usually made a lot of sense too; The way he looked at an issue always seemed right. He just had that "special" way of relating to each person differently. With me, he'd usually talk about hindi movies or songs or make fun of the way I walked (up and down motion) or imitate me the way I was when I was little; he said I would just be happy to have the old "crank up" record player on and dance to hindi movie songs all day long. It seems to me that his older siblings treated Shangla more like a son than a brother - so I'm sure his passing away is extra hard on them. He knew how they all felt about him though and even though it wasn't possible for him to see Somo TseDolka la, I'm so glad that he at least got to see the rest of his siblings this last time. Yeah...he sure was "khepo" at imitating all of us! He had the ability to poke fun of people without being malicious about it; he did it in a way that was accurate and yet funny too. Those times will always stay with me. As the days go by, I just keep missing Shangla more and more.
Sonamla thinks Shangla was making fun of him here - because Shangla would sometimes say that Sonamla's smile is like a "mouthful of white teeth"; he'd say "Soe kaapo rachi thaenjhe gaeymo gaeyki re"
How cute are they!!! Shangla looks so happy there too and a perfect weight!
Lhawang looks like Colin Farrell (sp?)
We used to think Shangla sometimes resembled Dharmendra- especially in Dharmendra's old movies from the late 50"s and 60's; they sort of aged similiarly too. You can see traces of Shangla in Dharmendra and vice versa.
Shangla could really do impressions and imitations well; He was so good at different Tibetan accents too. He was always up to doing something - and would always have everyone in the room laughing so hard at his antics. He always had fun himself too. We're sure going to miss having Shangla in our lives- he made such a difference to everyone.
He was a good and honest human being with no bias and no bull. He lived life in his own special way .. one day at a time. Way,way back in kalimpong I remember him singing Elvis Presley songs and styled his hair like Elvis. He was young, handsome and so full of life.At parties he could jive the jive like no other. He used to sing hindi film songs and imitate Shammi Kapoor in 'Tum Sa Nahin Dekha'. In 1968 when the Nornang clan had a reunion in Mussoorie agula a little tipsy -had so much fun dancing 'Shapro' and 'Gogshey' with his older siblings and the ex-servants.When he sang the 'Namtaa' his face turned red like he was squeezing his number two but he sang damn good.!
He loved his sons his brothers, sisters, neices, nephews and their children he was proud that everyone has faired well in life.With a mischievious twinkle in his eyes he was always proud to be a Norgyay Nangpa.
To live in the hearts of those you love is never to die !. I will immensely miss your voice your laughter and your jokes. I am sure you know better than to be wandering in ' Badro' so have a happy next life,
Hi Tseringla - Thanks for reminding us about Shangla's singing and dancing abilities; He really did have "style" and I know that he even won a dance contest (most likely The Jive) at the Savoy Hotel in Mussoorie. He was equally good in Tibetan dancing too as well as singing all kinds of hindi and Tibetan songs. Most of all, you could see that he really enjoyed singing and dancing. I remember Shangla and me pretending to dance to "Tum sa nahin dekha" in his backyard in Cobourg once; I'm sure the neighbors were mystified at what looked like us just running around the yard in circles! While we were being "bollywood stars", the hero (Shangla) got a thorn in his foot but he was still tryng his best to run and keep up with the song. Another memory is that one time, we were at a park in Cobourg and Shangla took each of us by the hand - one at a time and while holding our hand, he made us run along with him for a few yards and then return to where we were sitting down. I remember not really wanting to do that at the time (because I was sort of embarrassed since we weren't the only people in the park), but Shangla being the way he was, just pulled me up and said "ya -Lungre, tha shosh" and before I knew it, I was running like a crazy person and at the end, you couldn't help but laugh so hard. He was always so fun to have around and be around with and he always tried to be involved with each person. We lost Shangla much too soon. I have to agree that I don't see Shangla wandering around in "bardo" either because first of all, he didn't like to walk that much...so I'm confident that he's already in a good rebirth or else well on his way directly to "The pure land". We're all saying countless "om mani padme hun" for Shangla's journey.
Yes, Shangla was quite the singer with that booming voice .... I always enjoyed hearing him sing namtha 'cause he had such a strong voice. He sure brought us a lot of joy and laughter. I learned the song "Pema Thang" from him when I was a kid and I still remember a lot of the words. Even though his hearing and eyesight had suffered from being born premature, his intellect clearly had not been affected. You have to be pretty smart to be that funny! I noticed that he always left us wanting more, whether it was with his jokes or his singing. All of a sudden after telling a funny story, he'd just get up and go outside for a smoke. I would always wish he would stay and continue with the stories. It's only fitting I guess that he would leave us one last time, wanting more.
deke, you put that really beautifully . You're so right, he really did leave us this one last time with us all wanting so much more. I can almost see him telling us some story and just suddenly (sometimes in the middle of it) get up and walk so purposefully, almost like he had something really urgent to attend to, but ofcourse he was just stepping out for a smoke. We'd all be left sort of hanging on, hoping he'd just come back to continue the story or tell another. Sometimes he would and sometimes not but as you said, always he left us wanting more.
He was someone you wished would stay on and on w/ you when he visited. I remember in 2007 I think when he came to calgary and he was asking us to look into return tickets after about 2 wks here. Amala and us all really wished he'd stay longer so I said I was going to buy his return ticket for him as gift and made sure it was few weeks more. So I did but the time again came for him to leave so I said I would change the flight to a bit later one. I told him there was no fee to change the ticket ( which wasn't true ), and managed to get him to stay about 10 days more. So the moral of the story was that it didn't matter what the cost incurred to change itineraries, all I knew was that he was staying a bit longer w/ us and that's all that mattered and I am so glad I did.
I agree with Sonam - I always wished Shangla stayed way longer than he did too - because even spending a few days more with him made a big difference. Those extra moments are all the more precious now.
Shangla was the kind of guy who wasn't shy about doing "thupris" in front of you...in fact, I've seen him purposely lift his leg up and do a thupri; for some reason though, I don't really remember any foul smell - maybe genuinely good hearted people don't do very smelly thupris -haha. Another memory I have is that one time he was at our house in Cobourg for dinner and I had made a dessert that he really liked and that night, he ate so much of it that he crawled around in circles for a bit on the floor before he could even lift himself up! Also, he was one who'd just mindlessly munch on anything that was in front of him and one day Amala said that Shangla would probably eat cat or dog snacks if we put a bowl of it on the table while he's watching tv.
I can still see him putting on his worn out chappals and going out to smoke and blinking more than anyone and talking really loudly and laughing really loudly.
As time goes by and as more memories come up in my mind, it's going to be even harder not to miss Shangla all the more. ( "Om Mani Padme Hun") x countless times)
I know he was really unpretentous and I remember too when we went on those much too infrequent walks, he would be going ahead and let out a thuri. In later years it was really hard to get him to go on walks though as much as we tried.
Lobsang - I'm so glad you took time out to be with Shangla in Dec. That just shows that every moment we're with loved ones is precious - even though at the time, it just seems like a regular every day thing.
I can't believe its been more than 2 weeks now since we heard the tragic news. It has been such a shock for all of us that we're still very emotionally raw; its even hard look at this site.
Shang Geshela said that Shang Gandenla had the opportunity in the mid sixties to come to the States and teach Tibetan at the University of Minnesota with Professor Steven Wong but he chose to stay back with his new family and his thriving life in Mysore. Instead of coming to America, he helped establish the Tibetan settlement in Mysore. Shangla had the tricky task of making sure the 3 major Gonpas got along and managed the development of many of the settlement buildings and when we visited him in 1974, he was overseeing the construction of Ling Rinpoche's residence. He was definitely the most loved administrator there!
Shangla has been a rock for all of us to lean on through the years. Since most of us were born in the 50's/60's; there wasn't that much of an age difference between Shangla and many of us so I found it easier to connect with him. He always presented unique ways to look at problems and always cheered me up during difficult times. Shangla has lived such a pure life of not intentionally harming anyone and always there to help everyone in need. Even though Shangla was offered many opportunities where others would have jumped at the chance, Shangla always stayed true to himself his whole life and never compromised his integrity. We can only aspire to live as pure a life that he lived. Shangla's memories will be etched in our hearts forever.
Well, all this new insight into Shangla's past is just all the more proof that he never gave in to temptations of just leaving everything and starting fresh in a country w/ endless opportunities - especially for a young Tibetan stud like Shangla during his early days in Mysore. Back in the 60's, if anyone had a chance to get up and leave India and DIDN'T go, they were probably made fun of by people who would have given up everything to live in America! Shangla would have made an excellent teacher because he wouldn't have been like most teachers who are boring. Shangla had no problems with all the different Sect Gompas because he was so easy to get along with and there was no reason NOT to like him at all. I remember sending Shangla a letter and I didn't have his proper address at the time - so I just put "Ganden Nornang, Mundgod, S India" as the address and to my surprise, Shangla got that letter - he was THAT well known and THAT popular! Not many people have that "X" factor that Shangla just naturally had. If only we all had more time with him. As time goes by, it's more and more evident of how much of a positive effect he had on all of us....and we're all the better for having known him and having him in our lives for as long as we had - even though it was just too short! We have no doubt that he's well on his way to "Dewaachen".
thanks dachen for the extra info. I had no idea that he did so many constructive things in his lifetime. How typical of him not to boast about any of this. It's only now that alot of us are finding out all of his earlier accomplishments. I miss him even more, if that's possible.
You're right Sonam...that sure is typical of Shangla to be so "quiet" all his life about all the good work he did in the past ....especially when you hear about people who boast about every little thing they've done! I guess though that it's our fault too for not thinking of asking Shangla more questions when we had the chance to; I really regret not being more inquisitive and interested in his life before he came to Canada. The more I think about Shangla, the more I miss him!
I asked Shang Geshela and Amala about Shangla's time in Tibet... Shangla lived with us (Kumbuthang) in his youth, then at age 15 he joined the Drepung Loseling Gonpa but only stayed there a couple days and returned home. He didn't want to be a monk. Then at around age 18 he when to China (with H.H.'s entourage) to study in Peking (this must have been around the time when Tsultrimla and I were born). He went with both the Shang Kenchungs (both) and Shang Kethupla who also went there too. Shangla then came back to Tibet and wanted to go to India to Kalimpong around 1957 (a few years before China's occupation of Tibet in 1959). He must have had a blast hanging out with his 'brat pack' (of their era) friends. Of course after 1959, we were destitute like so many other Tibetans and in 1960 we all went to the first Tibetan settlement in Mussoorie. It was there Shangla met his close friends like TTla, Dhumkala, Gen Lobsang Tenzinla and many many more who some of us don't even know. As one of the older students...Shangla was sent to south India with a few of those same friends. So he was really a 'been there and done that' kind of guy! I love his witty, descriptive analogies of his move from Bylakuppe to the west, "tha ngye khangpa the shup cha sung; dha ngye cha dhe ne lakpa cha sung! I'm sure there were many more. I miss him so much!
shangla called here around xmas or little before (deke et all were here too) and he told amala to wish everyone Happy New Year from him. Amala asked him why he was doing that so early and he just said "dhakasey ngyeney lupki yoe" or just want to say it ahead of time. At the time it just seemed like another one of his whims but in hindsight, how thoughtful of him and how bittersweet for us. I wish we had videotaped him on this last visit (ngawang yangchenla was so right when she asked us to ask all of the elders questions and videotape them but our procrastination and obstacles that came along w/ nuddy getting hurt and amala in the midts of shingles, it just slipped our thoughts. I guess we always take things and moments like that for granted but, shangla took that moment in time and sent us New Year greetings early.
Regarding Ngawang Yangchenla's idea ... although it's too late to ask those questions of Shang Gandenla, it's not too late to do it with the other elders. There are so many things that we don't all know, for example I never knew that Shangla was involved in building Ling Rinpoche's residence. And until recently I never knew that Shangla had a chance to come to the U.S. in the 60's. Even though it's too late for Shangla, it's not too late to do so with the remaining relatives.
I knew that Shangla had the chance to go to the States in the 60's but he chose to stay behind because I heard from others that Bhutila had just gotten pregnant with Gawa then and even though he could have just taken off, him being the Responsible man that he always was, he decided to give up his chance of starting a good life in the States and instead stay behind to take on his role as a new father. Any other Tibetan man at that time, would have just left because back then, Tibetans were doing anything they could to immigrate to the West - especially to the States. So he had the chance to just leave a pregnant girlfriend way back then, but he sacrificed that opportunity for his family.
I know I never knew that either that he could have taken off to US back in '65. He was quite spontaneous in his actions sometimes but he took the responsible path and decided to stay. On the other hand he was spontaneous actually cos Chunila said that he changed his mind at the last minute so he must have changed his mind upon hearing of the pregnancy. And yes deke is right, it's still not too late to ask questions and record them w/ the rest of the siblings.
Yeah...If I was a guy back then in the late 6o's (and mind you, Shangla was young and good looking too -back in those carefree days and plus a lot of women were after him), I'm not sure I'd be as responsible as he was and give up going to the States to stay behind in a new settlement in Mundgod and do what he felt was the right thing to do. That just shows what kind of a man he really was. You can ask any of his old friends from India about this- I'm sure most of them would agree that if they had the opportunity to go to America in the 60's, they'd jump at the chance but that Shangla wasn't that kind of a guy.
Shangla could always get a laugh out of you...most of the time though, you found yourself laughing at yourself - because he'd be making fun of "you" but it was always funny and usually true too. Another one of my memories is that whenever Shangla would come to Calgary for a visit, and almost as soon as he came into our house, I'd always show him a tape of Ghulam Ali singing a ghazal that he liked; After a few times, It sort of became a joke too; Sometimes if I forgot to show it to him right away, he'd say "Lungre, aren't you going to show that "batzak-ka" song? (his nick name for Ghulam Ali as he has pock marks all over his face) and then he'd really start laughing when I'd put the tape in.
Another funny memory is when we'd be getting food from the table, he'd pretend to push you away and say "pha-gyu"'.
Deki says she will always remember her PoPo Gandenla's big bear hugs and she says he used to call her "Dorothy" (the character Bea Arthur played on "The Golden Girls" tv show); She said when she was little in Cobourg, she had short hair at one time and once wore a long vest just like the kind "Dorothy" used to wear - so for a while, Shangla called Deki "Dorothy".
SonamLa says he most remembers Shangla for his congeniality and the "fun" atmosphere that always seemed to just happen whenver he was around. Sonamla said he first met Shangla in the early 60's in Mussoorie, then a few yrs later in Mysore and then not again for almost 30 yrs but that when he first met Shangla in Calgary, he felt as though he was just seeing him again after only a short time!
We were so lucky that he took the time to come out and visit us as often as he could and I'm so glad that his last visit was a little longer than usual.
We wish and pray for Shangla's good and quick rebirth and for a hasty entrance into "Dewaachen Ke Shingkum". I feel that it is an honor being related to a genuinely good person - who got along with all his relatives equally and who never resorted to petty differences; I think he knew the real Buddhist belief that ' relatives, friends, life partners, and others who are together in life now- separate moment by moment, so we shouldn't be angry, argumentative and quarrelsome with anyone, for there's no certainty of being with them for long" - so that's why he always treated all of his relatives and friends lovingly.
Shangla's passing is a huge loss for our whole family and we will all lovingly remember him always and miss him forever! " Om Mani Padme hun"
Lungre and family.
He was man of noble birth and remained in heart a noble man. He lived his life at the moment and was not one to live in the past. I have known him in good times and in hard times and not once did I hear him complain of lost homeland, lost life style of the past or any other hardship this life dealt him.
He should be known as a man who loved his family. Agula was in Delhi ready to depart for Seattle with me in 1967 when he decided last minute to stay behind with his family. The decision could not have been easy to give up a chance to go to the promised land.
I miss him and wish him a good rebirth.
Hi chunila, thanks for writing that cos I didn't know he had that choice of leaving India in '67. You're right that the decision couldn't have been easy for him but he did what felt right to him and once again showed just what kind of a man he was. missing him more each day. sonam
Ganden Dhargay Nornang
He was an Agula and a Shangla too
A Pala, a Pola ,an Ola too.
A Husband, Bagro , friend and more,
Once monk , a teacher , and so much more
Ganden Dhargyay , where are you ?
We miss you now and for ever more
Your Kutsey two is so soon today .
We miss you each moment as we pray.
Did you leave your chappal there ,
Was that meant for me to wear ?
The horse you bet is winning dear
Now the smoke is about to clear.
I hear your laughter and your sniffling
Your life you lived and did not cling.
Our kindred spirit, you are free .
Hi Ngawang Yangchenla, that's so touching. thank you....sonam
Hi Ngawang Yangchhenla, The first time I read your poem, I could barely see it because huge tears were rolling down; I just wanted to say that it was really good! I think I need to say this- "Vah,Vah - kya poem likha!" You really got everything in...I especially like the "chappal" part - except that his chappals were usually the only thing he wouldn't leave somewhere because it seemed like he wore them no matter what the weather was like outside! I remember he said that he liked Bata rubber chappals the best -especially when the soles would wear down to paper thinness. Thanks for composing that poem. Lungre
When I think of shangla, I will always remember his easy-going attitude, his keen and very smart sense of humour, how he could bring you out of a not-so-good mood and actually get a smile out of you, his insistence on not planning things out but just playing life by ear (never bought a return flight but always left things open). His little-boy irreverence as he did what he wanted when he wanted to. How exasperated he could be when we lectured him about taking better care of himself. How he never lectured but was always there when you needed advise and managed to give some damn good ones too. As I said before somewhere, just as he endearingly left pieces of his clothing, shoes, etc. behind whenever he left after visiting relatives, in the same manner but much more significantly, he managed to leave pieces of himself w/ each of us. I know for sure that our family gatherings will never be quite as much fun as before but he will always be w/ us in spirit. Want to share one clear memory of shangla last september. One night amala, shangla and I were just sitting around, he was at the dining room table with his eyes closed and head slightly down. Amala was talking about what a really bad year this has been. Shangla was silent, eyes still closed and suddenly he looked up and said, "you know, when you really think of it, life is just one long dream, that's all it is." (can't remember word for word after that but he said something like, you're born and than you die and in between there's all these ups and downs, happiness, sadness, hello's goodbyes. . Of course the way he said was so much better than I can write here but gist of it was that life was a just a long dream. And so it is. All I know is I'm so glad he chose to share this 'dream' w/ all of us. I miss him completely.
This was from around 1986 when our cat Christy was still living in Cobourg. Shangla was writing as if he was Christy writing to Sonam after she moved to Calgary. It had a picture of Christy attached to it. I think Nuddy actually helped Shangla to write it. Just wanted to share it with you ‘cause it was so hilarious and shows what a sense of humour Shangla had.
Hi - Yup -I remember this clearly! Shangla made me be his scribe and I remember laughing so hard that I could hardly write; At first I had no idea what he meant when he said he wanted to pretend it was Christy - writing a poem to Sonam as her mother! (Sonam had written a nice poem to Amala and when Shangla saw it, he wanted to use the same card to write Christy's "poem" and then mail it back to Sonam). We're all going to really miss Shangla's sense of humour. Nuddy
yea, I was clearly one-upped by shangla! He certainly had a creative sense of humour, always ready and willing to pull one on you.
My memories of Shangla that stand out the most are the many times when he would do or say something that got us laughing so hard. He was a natural comedian and people loved being around him because he was just fun to be with. He had so many great anecdotes to share and he had a way of relating his stories that made them so interesting and funny. I will sure miss him!
This was during Christmas in Calgary when Maya was just 6 months old
dachenk
15 years agoI love this picture, Shangla looks so happy there! -Dachen